Recovery (Astarion BG3 Fan Fiction)

8: Bitter Spirits

"Don't go in," he says. "It will be a mistake."

"The only mistake is your insistence on telling me what the fuck to do," Aysla murmurs.

The party says nothing. Aysla had been the de facto leader up to this point - she simply had the strongest opinion most of the time, and the least apprehension in voicing it. She was a force of nature. But now, she sucks the light out of the room. She's a picture of passivity.

"We must find the Zaith'isk, to be purified," says Lae'zel.

"Great," replies Aysla. "Then find it, so we can go ."

Astarion shoots her a sideways glance.

And the day drags on like that. Lae'zel bosses the group around the creche, and Aysla gives in to whatever inane demand she's met with. Hand over the artifact? Surely. Get in the zaith'isk? Why not?

When the Zaith'isk fails to be good for anything other than nearly lobotomizing them, Astarion loses his patience.

"Hello, dear," he starts. "I hope you don't mind me asking you, where in the world your backbone has gone?"

Aysla rolls her eyes.

"I haven't the energy, dear ," she responds, "to be anything but a passenger princess today. Lead on, Lae'zel."

He sucks his cheek and turns away. So much for "sweet."

Aysla can't be bothered to care. She's been bone-weary for the last tenday or more, and every - fucking - night- she has had dreams of being violated, scared, confused, forced . When she goes to Astarion's bed, she mimes through the motions; but inside, she feels numb, knowing that there is no amount of tenderness he can ever imbue or fuck into her that will take away the piece of her that was broken, as she's reminded of nightly in her visions.

She has an irrational impulse to murder the next man who dares to issue her an order - a command . And it just so happens to be the dream visitor.

"Turn back, before it's too late!" the dream visitor calls out. "You are walking into a trap."

And something finally snaps in Aysla, at that.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," she says with deceptive airiness.

When they arrive in the belly of the creche, dripping in gith blood, Vlaakith stands before them. She, too, issues an order, which only boils Aysla's blood further.

Aysla refuses to bow. But when Vlaakith says to kill the strange visitor that lives inside the artifact, she jumps at the chance.

Aysla walks up silently to the invisible boundary, to 'speak' with the dream visitor.

"You are the one in charge, aren't you? Come in," he says.

Astarion looks at her smugly. So much for shucking the title of camp leader.

"Oh for fuck's sake," she says, as she strides in. "Are you afraid of Lae'zel, Dream Cunt? I promise you, you'd rather deal with her than me."

"So you came, in spite of all my warnings," the mysterious visitor says, his tone disinterested.

"You may shove your warnings where the sun doesn't shine," Aysla hisses. "I don't much care for your little directions. And I don't much care for you ."

Her hand squeezes around the handle of her blade.

"Ah, so you've come here to murder me," he says.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't," Aysla replies.