Countless Alter

PROLOGUE

I long to see her dance once more with such grace and elegance, to watch her cook with a love for every ingredient, to see her play with our dogs with pure, unadulterated joy. I yearn to see her reactions, her shock, her sadness, her happiness. I am overwhelmed with remorse, a feeling that I can't seem to shake off. The sadness, the madness, the agony of not knowing, not understanding what caused me to lose her, it's unbearable.

I loved her with every fiber of my being, right from the moment I laid eyes on her. I knew she was the one, the one I would spend every waking moment of my life with. The depth of my love for her was more than I could have ever imagined. When she chose to spend her remaining time as my wife, I sensed a change. I knew something was different, but I never doubted her desire to spend her life with me.....I never questioned her love for me.

*FLASHBACK*

As we strolled along the beach, the setting sun painting the sky in hues of orange and purple, I stole glances at her, admiring her in all her beauty. It was surreal to think that she had been my girlfriend for so many years. Suddenly, she turned to face me, and I could feel my cheeks growing warm under her gaze. Then, she dropped to one knee, presenting a small box to me.

"Sweetie, will you dare to marry me?" she asked, her voice filled with a longing that tugged at my heartstrings.

I stared at her, my eyes welling up with tears, unable to comprehend what was happening. She continued speaking.

"I know, it's early for us to get married, we're only 24 years old, still finding our footing in adulthood. But I can't wait, I can't wait for us to be married. I yearn to see you walk down the aisle, love shining in your eyes. I don't want to spend another day not being your wife. I want it now, so honey, will you marry me?" she asked, still on her knees.

Overwhelmed by emotion, I started crying, and then I began to nod.

"YES! YES YES YES YES!" I exclaimed, each word brimming with joy and affirmation.

Shocked by my answer, she slowly stands and put the ring on my finger. she hugged me and started crying. 

"Thank you, thank you for allowing me to spend my life with you. Thank you for being there for me, thank you my love, thank you honey" she said, full of emotions in her words. 

Your voice is a melody, a symphony of joy and sorrow intertwined, and it's playing a song that only I seem to understand. I hear the laughter in your voice, the light-hearted banter that you use as a shield. But beneath that, there's a subtle hint of melancholy, a quiet plea for understanding that you try to hide. It's as if you're painting a picture of happiness, but the canvas is stained with the colors of sadness.

And that's when I realize that something is wrong, something is wrong that you wanted me to believe is right. You wanted to be alone till the end of you, you wanted me to wonder and wonder and wonder, how many countless alters?

But the more I delved into your world, the more I realized it wasn't just about solitude. It was about a labyrinth of emotions, a fortress of thoughts you've built around yourself. You were not alone by choice, but by circumstance, a prisoner in your own mind.

You've painted a universe with countless stars, each one representing an alter, a different facet of your being. Each one shining brightly, yet so distant, so out of reach. And I, like an astronaut lost in the vastness of space, was left to navigate this cosmos of complexity.

You wanted me to believe it was right, that this was your truth. But the more I explored, the more I understood. Your solitude wasn't a choice, it was a cry for help. A silent plea echoing through the endless expanse of your universe.

And so, I decided to stay. Not to wonder, not to wander, but to understand. To understand your countless alters, to unravel the mystery that is you. Because even if you wanted to be alone till the end of you, I would be there, a constant presence in your constellation of solitude.

Because sometimes, understanding is the first step towards healing. And I was ready to take that step, for you, with you. Because something was wrong, and I was determined to make it right.