Me:okay xx
I was walking out but bumped into Nate. "Oh my god I'm so fucking sorry" I said then realising who it was "Nick?! The fuck happened to you?" He asked. "I'm fine going home now" I said "Alright I'll come round later okay?" He said I just nodded as I walked home.
Once I was home mom was standing at the doorway,she held her hand out and had a serious look on her face. "Phone." She stated as I threw it into her hands,she grabbed me by the wrists and it hurt (considering I'd cut myself last night).
"DONT YOU DARE TALK TO ME WITH THAT ATTITUDE! I WILL BE TELLING YOUR FATHER" she shouted throwing me to the ground. I started trembling and she just shouted at me to go upstairs,I laid in my bed just staring at the ceiling.
I completely forgot my nose was bleeding but then it fell down all the way to my neck. I quickly got out of bed and grabbed a tissue before just wiping it. God I felt so exhausted.
"What's wrong with you? You've been really annoying lately" mom said standing at the doorway "How? I stay in my room and don't come downstairs?" I asked attitude hitting my voice.
"You come down to eat" she said I scoffed,I haven't eaten for almost a week. "Nicolas. I care about you" she said "NO YOU DONT YOU CARE MORE ABOUT MATT AND CHRIS! YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND IM SO USED TO IT NOW! I CANT EVEN THINK PEOPLE ARE BEING NICE TO ME WITHOUT FEELING SUSPICIOUS" I shouted tears falling down my face.
She hit me.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'VE TRIED REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND YOUR NEEDS AS WELL AS YOUR BROTHERS. THERE'S NORE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAN JUST YOU NICK" she shouted stomping downstairs.
I ran into the bathroom and locked the door before grabbing the sharp razor and pushing it against my skin. I did this a few times until my vision was all fuzzy and I felt really dizzy. I put it away then laid down,i didn't want to do anything else but lay in bed.
I ended up falling asleep but not for long. "NICK WAKE THE FUCK UP" dad screamed at me,I jolted awake feeling so tired. I didn't know what was happening nor did I WANT to know what was gonna happen.
Dad grabbed my wrists which I winced at the pain,he shot me a look as he pulled up my sleeves and started crying. Mom came in and just looked at me. "Nick! What the fuck?! How DARE you make your father cry!" My mom shouted at me hitting me.
They both left and I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. Around 12am I started pacing around my room as my head was going 100 miles per thought.
Nicks POV:
So there's a bit about my life. As you can see Matt and Chris were treated like royalty,I was treated like an unwanted peasant. Which now even affects me now,I feel like I have to get things done with little time,I have to do everything or it's not enough.
Matt and Chris complain about it because I'm "Overworking" myself I'm really not I'm just doing what mom brought me up to do. Mom and dad apologised for everything when I was 18,I was going through a hard time with depression and anxiety no one was there so I would rot away in my bedroom.
Even though she said sorry that don't change the trauma she caused.
"Nick? Can you come eat something with us?" Chris asked putting a gentle hand on my back,I didn't look at him once "yeah yeah I will after I've edited" I said. "No Nick...you've been doing that for 3 days straight. You haven't slept and you haven't eaten the fans would want you to take care of your health..." Chris said.
"FUCK CHRIS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! HOW ABOUT YOU TRY AND GROW UP THE WAY I GREW UP! YOU AND MATT WERE FUCKING TREATED LIKE ROYALTY! THEN I WAS THERE BEING PUNISHED AND STUCK JN MY OWN HEAD!" I shouted getting annoyed,Chris had a disgusting look on his face.
"Just leave..." I said holding back my tears,Chris left and I locked the door as I sat behind it,my hands started shaking and tears were spilling out of my eyes. I couldn't breathe and my whole body was shaking I didn't even try to quiet my sobs.
I think it turned into a mental breakdown because next thing I know Matt's kicked the door down and is now sitting it next to me making me drink water. "Shhh breathe...your okay alright?" He said as he placed my head on his chest playing with my hair as I choked on my sobs.
I soon calmed down and Matt just hugged me,he took me downstairs to where Chris wrapped his arms around my waist and started saying sorry. "No no I'm sorry I shouldn't have ever shouted at you" I said putting my hand in his hair,Chris just looked at me and smiled.
"Nick? We're gonna help you through this phase of depression okay? We're gonna help you with everything." Matt said I nodded accepting their help.
*Treated Differently*
Start from the beginning
