Scope of Life || Yeonbin

chapter 10: realizations are horrifying

"And he didn't think you should be on the team, Ryu..." Taehyun replied, scoffing, "Bigoted asshole."

Chan laughed lightly, turning to Yeonjun, "Trust me, you are a breath of fresh air."

Yeonjun chuckled too, "I try my best."

I was too busy looking around the room to respond, my eyes darting everywhere, "Don't think we haven't noticed how you organized the equipment room. Literally spotless." Ryujin said, crossing her arms over her chest.

That was the moment Changbin came over, trying to balance six bottles of beer between his fingers. He placed them all on the table, keeping one for himself, "Drinks have been served!"

Everyone reached out and grabbed one, waiting until the last one was left so I could take it. I knew I wouldn't be able to choose between the ones that were there. Changbin sat down next to me, feeling a little crammed between him and Yeonjun. It's not that they were super close to me, but the atmosphere made it feel like I was being smothered.

Chan raised his bottle up, smiling as he said, "I'm really proud of you guys this week, and every week for that matter! I know it's been really busy but thank you for sticking it out!"

We all brought our bottles to the center of the table, clinking them together before we all took a swig. The alcohol burned down my throat, taking a few more long sips before placing the bottle down on the table, already half empty.

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket, hugging myself a bit. My head started to throb, barely able to comprehend what conversation they were having due to the overdrive going to my senses. The combination of the loud talking and music wasn't helping, needing to read their lips to at least try and follow along, but I only got about every other word at best. I was quiet, not feeling the need to speak. I normally don't in situations like this, just listen to what people have to say. I'm a better listener than a talker anyways.

"Soobin..." Taehyun randomly called out, turning my head to him, "You good?" He asked, taking a sip of his beer right after.

I knew what he was referring to, but the thing I didn't know was how long we've been here, and I've only said two words. I nodded nonetheless, ignoring everyone around us, "Sorry, I'm just tired."

Taehyun smiled, "Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice."

All I felt was anxiousness. I took a deep breath, quickly reaching out and grabbing my beer from the table. I tilted my head back, chugging the rest of the bottle in just a few seconds. Changbin laughed when I was done, swallowing the alcohol in my mouth, "Jesus, you can slow down." He said, taking a small sip of his drink. He was only about halfway done with his.

I looked around at everyone's drink, only Taehyun and Changbin were half way done while everyone else still had a lot farther to go. I avoided their eyes, knowing they were staring at me. I felt embarrassed, needing to get out of here. I held onto my empty bottle, "I'm gonna get another one." I said, and then hurried to stand up from my seat.

I didn't wait for any of them to reply as I walked away, my heart rate increasing every time I bumped into somebody. I felt like I could finally breathe again when I got to the bar, waving the bartender down. He came over to me, and I yelled over the music, "Can I have another beer, please?!" Gesturing to the empty bottle in my hand to show him what type.

He nodded, turning around to get me another one. I leaned against the bar, putting my elbow on the table. I dropped my forehead into my hand, closing my eyes and taking a few breaths because it felt like it was getting hotter in here. My other hand started shaking, trying to get rid of the pounding headache—