chapter 9: the compulsions

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Yeonjun's POV:

My leg was bouncing up and down as I waited, sitting in the middle chair against the wall of the waiting room. I was ten minutes early, just as I like to be. This happens when the urges get stronger, when the compulsiveness takes up my every thought. I need to be at least ten minutes early to everything or else my head starts to hurt, pounding from the anxiety. It's really weird from an outside perspective, but to me, it makes sense.

I had already checked in with the receptionist, just waiting for Dr. Hwang to finish up with a patient. She seemed really nice when I spoke to her on the phone yesterday, and I honestly just want to get myself some help. I know I should've done this a while ago, and my parents have been telling me the same thing, but never late than never, right?

I picked my head up when the door to her office opened, seeing how she was chatting with a woman as she was walking out. My leg stopped bouncing, sitting up in my seat since I knew I was next. They smiled at each other as they exchanged goodbyes, waiting a few seconds before Dr. Hwang looked over in my direction. She smiled at me, gesturing me to come closer, "Yeonjun-ssi, you can come in."

I gave her a little smile back, standing up and walking over in her direction. She stepped into her office first, waiting for me to come inside before she closed the door. My eyes were darting around the room, staying in place as I noticed anything and everything. There was a bowl of candy on the small table in between two chairs; it was off-center. Her office was really clean, which I was thankful for, but my eyes were scanning it for a flaw in the system. The throw pillow on one of the chairs was tilted to the side, most likely because the woman before me was sitting there and didn't think to fix it—

"So..." She started, knocking me out of my thoughts. I didn't even realize she was standing right next to me, quietly saying, "I'm Dr. Hwang, but you can just call me Yeji. You can have a seat." She said, motioning to the two chairs on the left.

I tried to hide the skip in my step when I went up to the one chair, fixing the pillow so it was properly upright. I decided to sit in the opposite chair, sinking a bit into the cushion. She sat down in the chair across the coffee table, "It's nice to meet you finally; to put a face to the name. Chan talks about you all a lot."

Lot

Lot

Lot

I chuckled lightly, "It's nice to meet you too." I replied, my eyes going back to the off-center bowl of candy every few seconds.

Fix it.

She crossed her left leg over her right, grabbing the notepad and pen that were on the table as she said, "Channie didn't tell me much. Something about how you're good at reading behavior...?" It came off as more of a question.

I nodded, "I worked for the behavioral analysis unit in Busan. I used to track and catch serial killers..." I replied, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of my neck, "Sorry, that was a bit blunt."

She laughed lightly, "No worries."

I smiled as well, looking back at the bowl of candy.

Fix it.

Dan, you're fine. Everything's fine.

Fix it. It's out of place.

"In what way would you help catch serial killers?" She asked, the voices getting louder.

I tried my best to hide how my hand was shaking, "We would read behavior and patterns of killers to develop a profile based on statistics. It's very..." I began, the urges almost overwhelming. I couldn't help it anymore, leaning to the side and sliding the bowl back into place. I took a small breath of relief, trying to be as quiet as possible as I went back to where I was, "Umm... It's very interesting. It's like making assumptions based on an individual's behavior. But the thing is, you don't know who you're analyzing. That's why you make the profile."

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