𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 ᯓ gilmore girls

𝟎𝟐𝟑. 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝

"Uh, where have you been?" is what I decide to ask, feeling it's the safest option to begin a conversation.

"At that old inn— the Dragonfly— with Lorelai," she tells me, and I grin because I still find it amusing that Rachel— my dad's ex— is forming a friendship with the woman he's been in love with since I was twelve-years-old. "She's thinking of opening her own inn."

     I hum in response because I already know. She'd be an excellent inn owner, I've always thought that because she runs the Independence Inn so brilliantly and flawlessly. She deserves to succeed at her own dreams, and I like to think she'll get there one day. Everybody does.

     Me and Rachel fall back into a strange, awkward silence, and I look down at the words in my textbook to distract myself.

     And then Rachel says, "I'm not sure I'm going to be in Stars Hollow much longer," and I glare at her with disappointed eyes.

     I was a fool to think she'd stick around.

     "Right," I say, my voice cold. "I didn't think you would stick around anyway."

     Rachel sighs and she takes a seat at the dining table. "I can't seem to make Luke believe that I really want to stay this time, and I definitely can't make you believe, and if you don't believe then—"

"It doesn't matter what I believe," I argue, interrupting her.

"It does matter, Lucy, and you know it does." Perhaps my opinion on Rachel matters, but I'm not the only contributing factor to my dad's ultimate decision, and she knows that.

"What matters is what you want, Rachel. The reason my dad doesn't believe you want to stay is because you made that exact promise five years ago, and you ran away."

I don't mean to be harsh. Okay, maybe I mean to be a little harsh, but I don't want to argue with her. She left to pursue her goals, her dreams, and I've always been supportive of those who choose to do that, but the way she left was messy and abrupt. It hurt me, and it broke my dad.

She's right. If I don't believe in her, Dad never will, and if Dad doesn't believe in her, I won't.

She doesn't respond to my previous argument, so I speak again. "Have you told my dad that you want to stay? Like, have you explicitly told him what you want?"

"Till I was blue in the face, Luce."

"He has a good reason," I defend. I'm always going to defend my dad. He does the same for me. "You left five years ago, and it really hurt him. It hurt me."

Rachel sighs, and she looks directly at me. "I don't blame either of you," she says, and I look away, a little afraid to make eye-contact. "I've given him and you no reason to believe me. I just hope that you can both magically forget that I skipped out a million times in the past."

"It's not that easy," I tell her, and Rachel nods. I shrug my shoulders, and I lean forward slightly. "Have you told him you're thinking of leaving?"

Because if she hasn't, I certainly will.

I'm not lying to my dad.

"No," is what she says, and my teeth clamp down on my bottom lip. Crap.

"Are you going to?"

She shrugs. "I don't know," she says. "I mean, I've been trying to make everything good again, Luce. With Luke, with you." I know she's been trying, and maybe I've been distant, but I don't know how to speak with my father's ex-girlfriend. It's not easy to go back to how it was before.