Stuck At The 9th Step

CHAPTER 45 : FIGHT

Nasa byahe na kami nang makita kong gumalaw si Rhea at tila naalimpungatan.

"Ren. . ."

Napahinga ako nang malalim. Really, Rhea? Even in your dreams, you still think of him? Bumagal ang pagtakbo ng sasakyan ko at wala sa loob na hininto ko 'yon sa gilid ng daan. Nang lingunin ko si Rhea ay nakabukas na ang kanyang mga mata at nililibot niya ang kanyang paningin.

"Rhea." Marahan kong tawag. She turns her head on my direction.

"Coby. . ."

"Yes, it's Coby." That recognition brought a pang of bitterness inside me. Did she expect Ren to be with her instead of me? I could sense her disappointment.

Maybe because I'm not a good replacement. I couldn't tell if I'm too good or not even as good as Ren. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ba ako.

I smiled bitterly. No. Of course, that's another lie. I know where I belong. I have boundaries. I'm just her special friend, though I treated her more special than the rest of the girls I've known. She's not off-limits but she set an invisible wall between us. She's available but she reserved herself into just one man, her first love. Where do I have to stand? Yes, I can offer more but what can do if she's not willing to accept any of my efforts aside from friendship?

"Nasa'n tayo?"

"Iuuwi na kita. Nakatulog ka sa opisina ni Tito Loren." I wanted to ask her what happened but I held all my questions. This isn't the right time to throw it.

"Ayoko umuwi." Tumingin siya sa bintana. "Take me anywhere. Huwag lang sa bahay."

Tinitigan ko siya nang matagal bago napabuntong hininga. "Okay. In my unit?"

Nang tumango siya ay pinaandar ko ulit ang kotse. The air is filled with silence. Walang nagsalita sa amin hanggang sa makarating kami ng building.

"Are you hungry? The offer for our supposed-to-be-dinner-night still stands." Ngumiti ako.

Ngumiti siya pabalik. "Pwedeng mag-take out na lang tayo?"

"Sure." Lumabas ako ng kotse at pinagbuksan siya ng pinto sa kabila.

"Thank you." Nang bumaba siya ay parang wala siyang lakas. Inalalayan ko siya sa likod.

"You okay?"

Tumango siya at pilit na ngumiti. "I'm fine."

Obviously, she's not. How stupid of me to ask the obvious. Aside from that, she's starting to deny what's evident. Again. Nababahala ako sa sitwasyon.

Dumaan muna kami sa restaurant na nasa ground floor bago kami umakyat sa taas. Tahimik pa rin siya at nakatulala sa harap namin. Napapikit ako. This is one of the signs. Bumabalik na naman ba ang depression niya?

I cussed silently. I have to call her psychiatrist as soon as possible. Going back to Phil is never a good idea. She should've stayed in NZ. May pakiramdam akong sinadya ang pagpapapunta sa kanya rito sa Pilipinas. Hindi ko lang matukoy kung sino ang may pakana. If this is a plan, there's a little possibility left that Ren was the one who plotted this. Kahit pinapakita niyang wala siyang pakialam, nagagawa ko pa ring pagdudahan siya. Pwede ring si Tito Robi, since he offered Rhea to work here. Or maybe Tito Loren since he was the one who appointed Rhea to work on his institute. Their fathers might be playing cupid.

Pero paano kung hindi? What if it's pure coincidence? Mahirap paniwalaan pero paano kung wala talagang nagplano? I whisked the thoughts out of my head.

"Uhm, Coby." Nagsalita lang si Rhea nang nasa loob na kami ng unit.

"Yes?"

"Wala pala akong damit."