The Deal

Chapter Twenty One

I couldn't comfort her the way she wanted me to. I don't have the ability to shut the fuck down like she did. I could barley fucking breathe through my anger and self restraint not to go back after him and kill the fucker.

But what bothered me even fucking more was why the fuck I felt like that. What caused the pure burning fucking rage to bleed under my skin, just from Arias phone call. Only knowing that the situation was taking place was enough to burn red in my eyes.

Seeing it was a different story. I had so much fucking adrenaline pumping through me, I didn't stop to breathe. It breathed for me. I've never felt fucking anger like that before in my life and anger isn't something I'm unfamiliar with.

And I have no fucking idea why, why or what brought it on. I wouldn't walk past anyone being fucking choked but I certainly wouldn't be half as angry as I was seeing it happen to her. My own thoughts rack my brain, racing and spiraling. Blurring my fucking consciousness so much that all I can do is stare blankly and try to make sense of it.

She shifts behind me, dropping her head against my arm and exposing her neck making me clench my jaw as I stare down at the bruising. I'm not fucking done with him. I won't murder him for the sake of not being thrown in prison but I'll make sure he knows what will fucking happen if he so much as fucking thinks of her.

I gently reach down and lift her wrist, tugging her sleeve down, seeing the cuts on her arm, starting to fade, before I set it back down and sigh. Bruises on her neck, cuts on her wrist, crushed up oxy in her drawer, debt hanging over her head.

I sigh, listening to her breathing as she sleeps. She was so calm..No mouthing off or saying something fucking sarcastic or smart ass. Talking herself into a fucking corner or trying to push me as far as she can. As much as I thought I hated it. Her fire was gone from her eyes and it made me fucking sick.

Her shirt rides up slightly  and my fingers rest against the soft skin of her stomach, rubbing small circles at there. Watching her eyelids flutter as she sleeps, her brows slightly. drawn together like she's afraid even in her sleep. Her scent invades my nose, smelling like cherries and vanilla. A scent I've become quite familiar with. And I fucking hate that I don't hate it.

My eyes open meeting Alilias ceiling. Sunlight leaking through the broken blinds on her window. My nose filled with her scent. I hadn't meant to fall asleep with my cheek resting on her head.
I pull away, sliding her gently off of my arm. I'm not sure I fell asleep at all, if I did it was barely an actual sleep.

I make my way down the hallway, remembering my keys are still sitting on their kitchen counter. If you can call it a kitchen. Seeing Lilys mother move over to the shitty coffee pot. Those things still exist?
"Oh good morning" she greets me warmly, sitting with me odd. She speaks so gently, warmly. Like a mother would. I suppose I've forgotten what that's like.
"Do you want some coffee?" She asks, dressed in her blue nurse scrubs, a sweater pulled over them. Her dark brown hair twisted into a bun on the back of her head. I search for some resemblance between her and Lily or Haley but only find Aria in her features. They must look like their father, whoever the fuck he is. And I don't particularly care.

"No thanks" I tell her flatly. Feeling odd standing here but not wanting to just grab my keys and leave. Her daughter was almost choked to death, she probably doesn't need my bluntness this early.

Although it is hard to shove down, it's who I am.
"Is she still asleep?" She asks, her eyes round with concern as she comes to stand at the counter, her hands wrapped around a red mug. Her blue eyes round with concern, flashing with a subtle look of relief when I nod. "Oh good, she needs it, she's been sleeping so terribly lately" she says, shaking her head before brining the mug to her lips.