How to marry a dragon (again)

Chapter 4 - Painful secrets

 For a moment I allowed myself to be weak.

 Because clearly, I was not the only one who needed it.

 Returning to the past, huh?

 And after five years...

 Countless memories that he holds which his loved ones now do not share and perhaps never again will.

 A single different step in the past can erase something that was oh-so-natural for you in the future.

 And...

 Mates...

 Neuvillette's mate...

 I had asked him about that before. I few decades into us knowing each other.

 "Will you ever find a mate?" I had asked.

 "A mate, Furina? Whoever would I mate with? There are very few whose lifespans compare to mine."

 As a human, Wriothesley is clearly not included in this' very few'.

 But somehow they managed and that was now gone.

 Everything was gone.

 A relationship that existed for who knows how many years out of those five and a bond that could not be broken had now vanished.

 He is surprisingly put together considering everything.

 Aside from that...

 "You do not seem to hate me." I muttered.

 "Why would I?" He asked, confusion apparent in his voice.

 "I lied to all of Fontaine. I promise that I would make sure everyone is protected and yet-"

 Suddenly, he pulled back from the embrace, looking straight into my eyes.

 "Listen, Furina. All these years you've done everything you could, everything that was expected of you, and much, much more. Do not undermine yourself and above all, do not for a second think that you have done nothing for Fontaine."

 His words were said so sincerely I almost believe him.

 Almost.

 "But still-"

 A loud, tired sigh interrupted my words.

 "Well, aren't you as stubborn as always? Will it take Neuvillette reassuring you of that for over a year for you to finally understand that you are not hated?"

 Neuvillette?

 "He... He doesn't- He won't despise me?"

 I always thought he would surely hate me for deceiving him for so long.

 "He doesn't even hate you for being an archon, and trust me, that's something. Why would he hate you for protecting Fontaine for 500 years?"

 "I lied to him-"

 "And he deceived you- Will deceive you. You're even. Happy now?" Wriothesley grinned.

 No, I'm not.

 I don't think I can be truly happy before I know for sure that Fontaine is safe.

 But...

 Neuvillette will deceive me?

 "Neuvillette doesn't lie." I said confidently.

 "He lies by omission." Wriothesley corrected me.

 ...

 Touché.

 "You're not gonna tell me what he left out that time, will you?"

 As an answer, I was met with a simple smile.

 Sigh...

 Okay.

 While I had the urge to pry the answers from his brain, I also knew that if he didn't say anything, it was probably for the best. Changing the timeline too much could result in a catastrophe.

 "You are far calmer than anticipated, Lady Furina." he remarked.

 'Well, I am quite the experienced actor.' I thought.

 "I've seen weirder." I said instead.

 I was not calm, perse. I was just still busy processing it all.

 The reaction he was expecting would most likely come later, in the privacy of my bed.

 Though...

 "I could say the same to you, Duke Wriothesley. You are awfully calm considering what happened to you."

 "Hmm? Oh, the dying thing? That was something of... Been there, done that, kind of. Though, the back to the past part is new." He grinned.

 Been there, done that?

 That must have quite the story behind it but-

 "No, that's not what I meant. I was talking about the fact that you still have your memories and others do not."

 I could clearly see as the meaning of my words hit him.

 At first, he just froze, but moments later the bottle fell from his hand, its contents spilling onto the floor.

 His eyes that till now had been filled with almost childlike glee were now filled with endless loss.

 Ah...

 He hadn't thought about that...

 Or perhaps he had been subconsciously avoiding the truth. 

 Suddenly, a small laugh slipped past his lips. A small laugh that soon turned into a sob.

 "Right... Yeah... Right. No one remembers anything..." He muttered.

 His hand reached up, clasping at the crook of his neck so tightly I'm pretty sure I saw blood seep from where his nails broke the skin.

  Tears filled his eyes but even through that, he managed to somehow smile.

 "Then I suppose we'll just have to do it all over again." He grinned.

 And that grin...

 It was so painful to look at it broke my heart.

 We'll do it all again, but it will never be the same.

 I knew.

 Wriothesley knew as well.