𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐖 | h.s

chapter twenty three

I smile as he holds a dramatic hand to his chest, "What was your main goal for this album? Because I know when we talked last time you didn't really have an answer and, quote on quote said ask me next time."

"Okay so," I breathe out, "I actually have a goal for this album, or had one when I was actively making the songs believe it or not."

"I feel like I just kinda wanted to connect with people, y'know? Especially with like the more vulnerable side of the album, I mean all of them are pretty vulnerable but like for example, block me out and Camden."

"I want to be the person who makes someone feel like they can talk about what's gone and going on in there life y'know? I know how it feels to feel just hopeless when nobody knows what's going on inside your head, and I guess the goal of this album was to be the voice of people who struggle with opening up. If that makes like any sense."

"No that makes perfect sense, that's honestly a beautiful message your sending out. I mean I personally think that your lyrics are so carefully crafted that they match peoples specific thoughts and emotions so perfectly, like for example Camden. That was a pretty specific song no?"

I breathe out before answering his question, fiddling with the side of my jacket.

"Yeah I mean that was one of the songs that were actually written back when I was in the- um band." I clear my throat, shifting in my seat.

"I just feel like Camden is one of those songs I've written that really resonate with me. Every single lyric is about me, and to be honest I was low-key scared to release it because it's just like one of those songs that I'll hate but love to play live since it's so personal, but I also recognise how many people have sent me personal dms telling me how much it means to them that someone has written something that explain them."

"Do you think the support of your fans keep you going? As in if you ever feel unmotivated or just overwhelmed with everything you know that as well as your friends cheering you on, you have strangers online telling you how much they love you and want you to carry on?"

"Yeah- I mean you said that so perfectly." I smile as he looks down at his sheet of paper. Zach and I had talked about me being on his show for the second time and asking questions about the new album, since the last time I was on the show I didn't really go into anything deep and we just talked about new music.

"Also this is like a big jump, you've released another album after three years, and after you released your first you kind of like disappeared for a bit. How was that time for you? The time between your debut album and the time you didn't really show face much?"

"Uhm- I mean it was kind of a difficult time to be honest. I had just freshly left the band during the time before and during the time I was actively writing songs for the album I was trying to use it as a coping mechanism to be honest. I was hurt and pretty much drained, I mean it was a really big change so yeah."

"I used the time after the album release to kind of calm down from all the chaos that was going on, it wasn't a fun time to be honest because I had finally been true to myself about basically everything."

"How do you mean?" Zach shifts more forward in his seat, as I take a sip of my water.

"I mean I felt like when I was in the band I was the happiest I had been but found that when I was left alone I was the worst- if that makes any sense? I wasn't really happy, for like so many reasons and when I left and was left to my own devices I had realised that I wasn't actually okay as I made it out to be."

"Do you mind sharing why you weren't as happy as you thought you were or do you wanna talk about something else? It's entirely up to you." He says softly, trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible.