No One But Me

Chapter 14 - Lost In The Dark

I don't want my woman behavin' like that when she belongs to me.

Joel had taught you what he expected of you as his woman. All he had needed to do was take your naturally demure and meek character and shape you just as he wanted, and that had been so easy. As far as Joel was concerned you belonged to him from the moment he saw you, and you still did. But now, with an anxious sense of dread, he's not so sure that your heart still belongs to him.

Joel didn't know how to deal with the situation. He had intended to overlook whatever was happening to you until it passed. But when Ellie pulled him aside after dinner one night and expressed her concern, Joel knew he had to do something.

"What's wrong with her?" Ellie whispered to Joel in the kitchen when you had excused yourself to go to the bathroom. "She's acting weird. Like really sad. What happened?"

"Nothin' happened," Joel muttered. "She's just tired. Been missin' her parents and not sleepin' too good."

"Well, do something to cheer her up, asshole," Ellie hissed. "Fix it."

Joel grunted and started filling the kitchen sink with hot water. He gripped the bench and watched the water blast from the faucet. He wasn't sure what to do, how he could fix it, but he needed to do something before you completely disappeared from them.

••••••

When Joel and Tommy were assigned on patrol together, like they were the following week, Joel would meet Tommy at his house and the two brothers would walk to the stables together. It was early morning and Joel didn't feel fully awake just yet. He scrubbed at his eyes with his fists and yawned. He hadn't slept much the previous night - you had been whimpering in your sleep on and off and had somehow repeatedly slipped from his arms to roll to the edge of the bed. Joel would continually wake without you curled up to him. He would pull you back to his chest, only for you to escape from him and return to precariously balance on the edge of the mattress. Joel eventually got you to stay still in his embrace but you would still let out little sighs and gasps every so often.

Joel wondered what you dream about. Did you dream of horrible creatures like the infected? Or were you plagued by the memories of your loved ones' deaths? Joel wishes he knew. His own dreams could be so vivid and distressing, especially the ones of Sarah.

Joel's fingers fidgeted nervously by his sides as he waited for Tommy to saunter down the steps of his porch. The morning sun poured through the clouded sky but did little to diminish the bitter cold that had settled in overnight. Tommy tipped a nod to Joel in greeting before they began the walk to the stables for their patrol shift together. Anyone who saw the two side by side could easily tell they were brothers; they were close in height and shared the same gait, aswell as the same intense brown eyes and full bottom lip.

"Snow looks like it ain't gonna ease up for another few weeks," Tommy observed while glancing up at the snow capped mountains surrounding Jackson.

Joel only grunted in response. He was lost in thought trying to work out how to ask Tommy about his relationship with Maria and how they solve any issues that arise between them. Joel hated deferring to Tommy about anything, but he was desperate for insight into resolving conflict, and Tommy was the only person he could ask for help. Joel was struggling to find a way to segue the conversation, especially without revealing your relationship to Tommy.

"Maria's been like a crazy woman tryin' to knit all these sweaters for the kids," Tommy chuckled. "Balls of yarn everywhere."

Joel cleared his throat and tried to sound as casual as he could manage. "How're you and Maria goin'?"

Tommy gave him a sidelong glance. "We're okay. I mean, some days are better than others, but that's how it is in a marriage, ain't it?"

Joel rubbed his hands together to generate some warmth and kept his gaze fixed ahead of him as they walked. "You two disagree on much?"