Evangeline's POV*
I let the old picture of Ed and I slide through my fingers even though I knew it would break all the little pieces that were left of my heart. It was our old prom picture. Going to the prom was our first date. I felt terribly beautiful in that black dress and Ed was hella handsome in that tuxedo. We had the time of our lives. Best first date I've ever been to. Not like I've dated others before Ed.
I tried to convince myself for a long time that I was totally over him. But of course that was just a lie I told myself for a moment of false comfort. I know that years from now he would still be the face I'd be looking for in a crowded subway, seeing a new picture of him coming up on Instagram would always continue creating that undescribable feeling in the pit of my stomach. Ed wasn't the guy you could just get over. He wasn't just some water under a bridge. He was totally different from everyone I've ever met in my life.
But I wish I could forget his name, the mention of if creates a lump in my throat and a drop in my stomach. It makes me feel sick because I wonder, how can someone who made me so happy suddenly cause me to feel this much pain now. I don't want to salvage the memory of him because all it does now is make me feel numb. I see how happy he is right now with someone else and I'm glad for him, but all I wonder is if he hopes that I find happiness just like I do for him.
The pain is surreal. I feel something tickling my heart and all I want to do is pry open my chest and dig that heart out. Maybe that tickling is the formation of a scar. I feel like screaming but then I am unconsciously suppressing an earthshaking scream. The scream is then swollowed back and there is a weight in my throat. Maybe that weight is everything I wanted to tell him before he even left. Tears start revolving around my eyeballs but they're not falling down. I then let my tears dry up at the side of my eyes. Maybe that's the brave facade I put on after the gallons of tears I left on the side of the bed when he left.
I shoved the thoughts aside and put the picture down. I opened my drawer and searched for my razors. Took me long enough. I carefully placed it on my wrist, where I wanted to cut. Then he spoke to me in my thoughts, just like he always did when he was still here and I was planning on cutting. He'd hold both of my wrist in his warm palm and say "You cannot take the pain away by hurting yourself, Eva. And you're not even hurting yourself alone, you're hurting me too. Please, I promise everything is going to be okay. I'm here now" He'd than always snuggle me into a warm hug and draw circles into my back, causing me to calm down. He'd look me in the eyes and say "Now I need you to promise me this, that you'll never even think about cutting ever again"
"I promise" I whispered in his ears with a broken voice.
"I'm sorry, Ed" I whispered, tears streaming down my warm cheeks. I pushed the razor in my wrist and pulled it to the bottom, I did this a few times, creating vertical stripes. Blood began to stream down my wrist. I ran to the bathroom and let the water run all over it. I slowly sank to the ground, curled up in a ball and began to cry. All I keep saying was "I'm so sorry, Ed" I felt really guilty that I broke my promise. But I could no longer be strong.
Edward's POV*
I got to my room and immediately closed the door behind me, I was sick of Maddison. We just didn't seem to agree on many things and I couldn't stay in this fucked up relationship with her any longer. I was planning on breaking up with her. But how? I couldn't just dump her without any reason. I had to come up with something, real fucking quick. The sound of someone knocking in my door brought me back to reality. Before I could even say something I could hear the door slowly opening and Maddison's face came into view
"Baby" She whispered almost inaudible. I could hear footsteps coming closer to the coffee table in the corner of my room where I was sitting. She locked her arms around me from behind and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I am so sorry, love" She whispered in my ear
Oh, now you're sorry? I got out of her grip and leaned back on the couch. I put my guitar on my lab and scrolled down on my laptop.
She sighed and sat down on the couch next to me. "So now you're just going to ignore my existents?" She asked a little frustrated "I cannot believe you, Ed!"
I completely ignored her and took out my phone. I read a few tweets from the boys and tweeted some shit of my own. I got bored soon enough and took out a cigarette and lit it up.
Maddison immediately took it out of my hand and killed it. "You know that I don't like it if you smoke yet you still have the nerves to do it! In front of me! I don't want smoking"
"Maddison I don't care what you want!" I yelled back at her completely stressed out "It can't always be about you, you, you! Sometimes I want to do things I want to do without you complaining about it. I am not your child!"
She looked at me with big eyes "But you know that smoking isn't healthy. Why do you still do it?"
"Because!" I yelled at her and went with my fingers trough my messy ginger hair, "Because you stress me out"
Her jaw dropped to the ground and her eyes grew much wider "Edward" She yelled in disbelieve "I cannot fucking believe you"
I didn't answer her and just continued scrolling down on my laptop. She sighed and stood up from the couch. "Inform me when you're done ignoring me" She said and walked to the door.
"That might take a while" I said before she opened the door. She looked at me and rolled her eyes before walking away.
Author's Note:
Thank you all so very much for reading, this really means a lot. Leave some comments behind down below, I'd really like to read your thoughts. Also follow me and vote for my story. I love y'all❤
-Lots of love, Kaily
