Unexpected Teenage

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Book: Unexpected Teenage

Author: rachel_here13

Overview:

I really like the cover style, but the story's title doesn't boost the readers interest for the story since it doesn't reflect it. Yes, you want to talk about a teenager who is going through difficulties, but I think you should take some time and look for a title which will best fit your story.

As for the blurb, I think you should revise it. The flow isn't there. Add a little bit of suspense, tell us a little bit about the unexpected events that she will face. In the blurb you gave us two names but you didn't tell us who they are for the portagonist. Remember we are new readers we need to know what to expect in the story. However, when I entered into the story, I found that there was a more vivid book description. I would advise you to take that, condense it into at least 700 words. That will serve as a good bio.

Chapter one was really something. I would ask you to read a little more of other Wattpad books even mine if you wish to see how the style, structure and the flow is. In the chapter there was a cumulation of dialogue without and less of the description of what is happening around. Again the description is so short and having so many paragraphs that it makes it difficult to read. Condense it and try to use another word instead of (said).

There is also some punctuation problems try to revise it and also grammar. There were a lot of adjectives that when combined didn't really made us understand.

Normally i read the first five chapters, but in your case I had to read more than ten in search for the turning point you promised us but didn't see. The story was going normally without anything shockingly. Plus I found the chapters too long try and condense it. You can put two and a half chapters as one. Again, try using cliffhangers at the end of each chapter. It is important for the reader to stay focus on reading the next one. You use a lot of brackets example (At Jamie's house, At the danse class) no need just put it as a chapter example:

"We came to learn some dance steps!" Jesper explained quite cheerfully to our tutor as we arrived the dancing class in expectation of what is ahead of us.

Okay, to conclude I will ask you to read a lot of stories that has your genre. Don't copy their plot, but try to see their writing style it will really be helpful for your growth.

 Don't copy their plot, but try to see their writing style it will really be helpful for your growth

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