I promised you. | Austin Butler

Part 26

I sat in silence for the next however long. My mind and my heart doing somersaults. The heartache, the sneaking around, the hidden text messages, the change of attitude that all my work colleagues had so clearly seen, the ring that had stayed hidden but not forgotten in my pocket, the promises to Austin that I would turn my entire life around, for him. I couldn't blame Andrew for his reaction, not really. I try to force my brain to think of my reaction if the roles were reversed and I struggle to comprehend the thought of it. That feeling and heartbreak in my chest all those years before when I saw Austin on the red carpets, so sure and settled that my life with him was over. How does somebody come back from what I had done to him? How would this affect him for potentially the rest of his life before he finally found his person. Would he trust them? Would he resent me for the rest of his life?

But that selfish part of me knew that this was for reason. I had never been so sure about anything in my whole life than I was about Austin. Had I loved Andrew? Of course, and in a fashion. But had I been in love with him? Truly? Deeply? Because nothing felt how it did with Austin. 

I pull myself out of my trance and look up and over towards the kitchen. My best friend, throwing away the pieces of broken mug that had been scattered across the entire kitchen and living room surface. Her back to me as she had pulled out the bin from the cupboard to place it inside. The faint smell of bleach where she had filled up the mop bucket to clearly give the floor a clean, and the sight of it finally made me speak.

"I can do that." my voice is hoarse. Sore. Shattered. I felt like I could sleep for an eternity. 

She pushes the bin back into the cupboard space underneath the sink and turns around to face me, her eyes scanning my entire body. I didn't need a mirror to know I looked a mess. Austins clothes I had come home in. My hair hanging loosely from the bun I had put it in this morning. My eyes probably so bloodshot I'd need a week of sleep to recover. But I forced myself to smile and I forced myself to stand up. My bones creaking and every inch of my body ached from sitting on the floor for god knows how long, the pain in my hip from where it hit the table earlier burning like hot coal. My sudden wince was what finally made Danielle speak. 

"Clearly, you can't. Can you go and sit on the sofa please." 

I didn't need to be told twice, and I silently bowed my head like a naughty school girl and walked across to the sofa, pushing myself down with a sigh as this soft fabric hit my skin. I slumped my head back and stretched out my hands, letting out a moan of comfortable pleasure before my hands brushed against the fabric of Austins blazer. I opened my eyes to see it placed over the side of the sofa just an arm stretch away and I leant over to grab it, pulling it close to my nose to smell that comforting smell. 

"I had to take it off you," I heard Danielle say from behind me now, the sound of the mop and water being used to clean up the mess. "Didn't want you ruining it." she joked, and I let out a genuine laugh, grateful for her trying to make a joke when I was so clearly in a state. 

I pulled my legs to the side and swished my body around so I could see her, but not before I winced in pain again at my hip. I didn't want to look, and tried so hard to play it off but Danielles stare was intense. I smiled, but she put the mop straight back into the bucket and placed her hands on her hips. 

"He hurt you, didn't he?" she said, and I tried to shake my head but her words were on me instantly. "And don't bullshit me." 

I rolled my eyes, but forced myself to lean backwards and pull down at the waistband of the jogging bottoms I was wearing. Swollen, already purple. I tried to cover it quickly but it was too late, she had already seen it. 

"What did he do, Leanne? Because I'll kill him. I promise you I'll kill him." 

I rolled my eyes again, but was truthfully grateful for her. Her presence. Her friendship. Her everything.