AM I DROWNING?

HE

I was pulled up by him. His hands were trembling yet so warm and kind. Why would his hands be trembling? Is he afraid of me or Is he afraid of losing me? What could it be, even I'm not afraid of losing me, that's what I'm thinking right now. Who exactly is he for me, that he trembles like he would've lost his entire life, if I've died while drowning? 

He pulled me back to the sand, while I was staring deep into his eyes, trying to find answer for my questions. I looked around me, the sun was shining brightly on us, the breeze was cool and warm. And the fine sand felt like I've finally found my ground after stumbling so far. It is different from what I experienced in the deep ocean. But where am I? I looked at his eyes, wondering who is he? what will he say now that he had saved me? and .....How does his voice will sound to me?

He was heaving and took so many deep breaths and having calmed down looked towards me, I was quite shocked at his sudden gaze towards me. He stared at me for few seconds. It was so intense, deep and pierced through my soul. I felt this strange feeling that he could see me  naked with those deep long gaze. He could look beyond this mundane body of mine and could look deep into my soul which was entrenched in great pit of sorrow, hopelessness, devastation and even the presence of my literal being. I felt a shiver in my spine, I averted his gaze . He called me again with that new, never heard of, but familiar name, "Esperanza..", I should find it unsettling but yet It really felt like my name. 

I looked back and diverted my gaze towards him and asked, "Is that my name?". He was angry and perplexed at the same time. He shouted at me, "Do you think this is funny? you jumped into the ocean, tried to kill yourself, let yourself down and ......." He gasped for a second and his eyes drooped down. And he said," ....and you left me here, without telling me anything, engulfed by your own thoughts alone, you left me back here, and now you're asking me weird questions. Is it not enough that you stopped my heart once, when you fell down there, why are you trying to break my heart for good?" 

I couldn't understand what he spoke about me. I don't remember anything at all. I don't remember him too. But if I say that to him, he'll be devastated to the point of no return. I know that because....... because...... I don't know, but I get this feeling that he will be sad and devastated and I know that he knew me like No one in the world could know me like him. He waited for my response, and he looked at me like I should speak to him now, or he will be destroyed within a minute in this mundane world. I started to speak slowly, "My memories are jumbled up and I don't know  Who am I? Who are you? Why I was in the ocean drowning? Where you and I began?. But here in my heart I feel for you, I think I've Known you for a long time and So I want you to tell me who am I and Who are WE?.