hiii<3
hope you're all eating well and hydrated!!
tw;
• ➴ - angst 💌
nearer the beginning...
• ~ ✄ {smut} 💌
nearer the end....
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I HAVENT PROOF READ THISSSS IM SO SORRYY<33 🫶
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start;
"baby, i'm just gonna get us some drinks from the bar, what would you like?" You and Taylor were an awards ceremony after party. It was the first after party you'd attended in years. As much as you were as high profile a celebrity as Taylor was, you'd attend the main event, converse with any friends or such, then have your chauffeur drive you home. The main reason for this was due to the crippling anxiety that had been creeping over more frequently you as of lately. It started out as having less people over for your birthday, attending less red carpet events, not being present at ceremonies you were expected to turn up to.
Rapidly, it became so intense that you hadn't had any human interaction for months. The most socialising you'd do was saying a weak and hoarse "good morning" to your girlfriend, Taylor, as she got ready for work.
Usually you'd beg her on your knees to stay, however, by now, your will to even leave your bed had disintegrated. You'd simply rot away beneath the sheets until she came back from work. Sometimes in the afternoon or evening, other times late in the night. Occasionally even the next day. But you remained awake. Restless, until she returned to your side. She'd wrap her loving arms around you and cradle you in her chest; and you'd cry.. She'd let you expel the bottled up emotions that were threatening to burst and shatter you. Taylor knew she had to stay as strong as she could for you, but it pained her to see her one true love struggling so badly.
Slowly but surely Taylor convinced you to just go for walks with her. You'd get ready, all dressed up, to go nowhere in particular Just hold her hand and sit on the balcony and watch the beach from there. Then sometimes you'd take a car ride into the city. You'd never actually leave the car, but Tay was trying to reintroduce you to the thought of having people surrounding you and that not being wholly intimidating for you.
13/12/22
"How do you feel, baby?" Taylor squeezed your thigh softly as she sat in the driver's seat of her black BMW car and drove through the countryside with you. She drove with the windows down, wind whipping your faces, daylight filling the open pasture of green coloured grass that glowed golden beneath the beams of the sun. The radio played indistinctly and as she turned to glance over at you, she saw something that brought tears to her indigo eyes.
You were so.. happy.
You had the most adorable grin on your face, your eyes twinkled and you sat comfortably in the passenger seat, taking in the scenery. The birds tweeted harmoniously, the clouds white and fluffy, the sun setting slowly. The trees and shrubs were rich shades of green, and the sky was a haze of lavender.
"You promise me that you don't mind we're spending your birthday like this, Tay?" You murmured, almost so quietly she couldn't hear you over the outside surroundings.
Taylor was so lost in admiration and pride for you that she almost forgot she was driving the car.
"baby, all i wanted to do on my birthday was spend it with you..." She chuckled, reaching for your hand that was in your lap. "And i'm doing exactly that, no?"
You giggled, and her heart raced. 'I did it..' she thought to herself. 'She's smiling more, she's happier. I'm helping her... and that's all i've ever wanted for her.'
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present day;
[back at the afterparty]
