october | ningselle (ON HOLD)

I

now

"It's my birthday month, you know," Giselle grins, shoving her long sandy-blond hair under her green cap. "You should really start to think about what you're gonna get me."

"It's mine too, and before yours, don't get ahead of yourself," Ningning replies, rolling her eyes as she slips on a pair of sunglasses. The two girls are in Ningning's room on a gloomy Saturday, going through her closet because her mother has relentlessly insisted that she get rid of some clothes.

"Whatever," Giselle sasses back, not really caring about the conversation. She's too busy staring at her best friend.

See, Giselle, who's currently 17 and in her last year of high school, has had a crush on Ningning since the first year of high school, when she turned fourteen. It's been four years since then and no one except Giselle knows.

Giselle is openly lesbian, but confessing to her best friend is something she would never, ever do. Ningning is straight, so it would not only flip the balance of their friendship, but probably scare the Chinese girl off and Giselle would never see her again.

Giselle can't have that happen, so she's kept her feelings to herself for the last four years.

"You always say that," Ningning sighs, and Giselle's brought back to the present. "But honestly. We should do a joint birthday this year. Blow it all. Last year of high school for you, you know?"

"Sure," Giselle agrees, and Ningning smiles brightly, opening the Notes app on her phone. "What do you wanna do?

"Anything you want to," Ningning answers, flashing her megawatt smile at her best friend, and Giselle can feel her stomach flip-flop again.

Ningning's smile, her high-pitched laugh, her personality, her everything- Giselle loves it all about her.

Right. Love. Giselle is totally in love with her best friend, and it underlines everything she does. Ningning is always on her mind.

"Uhh, okay," Giselle says quickly, trying to distract herself from zoning out. She does that a lot around Ningning, imagining what they'd be like together or just gazing at her.

"So, any ideas?" Ningning rolls onto her back on the bed, looking adorably thoughtful, and Giselle is overcome with the urge to hug her.

Instead, she pulls her cap over her head and shrugs, bouncing up and down on the bed, making Ningning swat her lightly. "I mean, what do we both like? Let's start from there."

"Huh, okay," Ningning thinks. "I like watching movies, shopping, and going to parties. Don't we both?"

"Yeah," Giselle agrees, but she tries not to think too hard about what Ningning has just said. She knows Ningning's favorite movie, and why it's her favorite movie.

Titanic. The day they saw it, Ningning finished the movie with tears in her eyes, having cried through all of the sad scenes and smiled through the happier ones. It was the movie that made her best friend believe in love.

Funnily enough, although Giselle adores action movies like Deadpool and Oceans 11, Titanic is the movie that made Giselle believe in love too, because she saw it the day she fell for Ningning.

then [ four years ago ]

"What do you wanna watch?" Ningning asked, scrolling through Prime on the TV.

Giselle had just turned fourteen and Ningning thirteen, and although they were already fairly matured, Ningning's mother insisted on sharing a Netflix account with her daughter, so the girls couldn't watch anything racy as long as she was checking it.

Which was why Ningning took advantage of the Uchinaga family's wide range of streaming service subscriptions anytime she came over.

Like now.

"Ooh, I know, let's watch Skull Island," Giselle encouraged, flopping down onto the couch with snacks and snuggling up to her best friend.

Ningning gave Giselle a light flick on the forehead, but didn't move away. "I'm not gonna watch your silly action movies. Let's watch something my mom wouldn't let me watch. Ooh, how about Titanic?"

"Ugh, I don't wanna watch romance," Giselle groaned. "Please?"

She looked at Ningning just as her best friend looked back at her, and for a split second, they just stared at each other.

As Giselle looked into her best friend's eyes, something shifted.

Suddenly, Giselle's heartbeat was pounding a mile a minute, and she was hyperaware of every inch of her skin that was touching Ningning's.

"Okay," Ningning said, but it was so quiet Giselle almost missed it.

"Uh- uhm, no, we can watch Titanic," Giselle blurted, yanking herself away from her friend as she tried to process the onslaught of emotions. "Yeah. Sure. Great. I have to use the bathroom, give me a minute."

So as her best friend started the movie, Giselle stared at her reflection, panicking.

She was perfectly aware she was gay. She'd learned that from Hwang Yeji, head cheerleader, in freshman year. But Ningning? No way. Right?

Giselle headed back into the living room, where the movie was playing, and sat next to Ningning, who gave her a bright smile.

Giselle's heart did backflips again.

Dammit. Maybe she wasn't as not-crushing-on-Ningning as she thought.

She really wasn't. As the movie went on and her best friend grew more enamored of it, Giselle felt her eyes fixing more on Ningning.

Her blond hair.

Her shining eyes.

The soft curve of her smile.

Oh no, Giselle realized as the movie went on and the two straight characters fell more in love.

I'm in love with her.