Towards the Sapphire Light.

The Devil's kiss is euphoric.

Day 4- The shedding ritual

I woke up feeling weak, my head was throbbing with a headache similar to the one that came after downing half a bottle of vodka and mixing it with half a bottle of gin. I groaned as I rose from the bed placing my hand on my head as if that was going to help. Just then flashes of last night came pouring in. I rushed to the mirror to see if everything was in order no bite marks, no wounds nothing except surprisingly my vitiligo was smaller. I felt no discomfort or pain other than my head and I was still fully dressed why did I feel uneasy though? Why does it feel like something is missing? It was dawn the sun wasn't out yet but I could hear birds singing so I assumed it was morning. I let out a sigh of relief after convincing myself that nothing was physically wrong and that I was just shaken up by a vivid dream that was all. I looked for my phone to check the time to make sure I wouldn't run into the girls on my way to freshen up. I found it lying under the pillow next to the locket. I still didn't know where it came from but I felt an overwhelming need to protect it. the time on the phone read 18:49, so it wasn't dawn but it was dusk and I slept all day. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked around. There was no sign anyone came to check on me and even though the necklace was here there was nothing that proved that he was really here. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time noticing the bags under my eyes. It was almost seven, I needed to hurry to join the rest of the house with the ritual for today. Maybe all these nightmares I was having were because I hadn't faced my grief yet and maybe taking part in the activities I deemed pointless and backwards would help. Besides anything is better than staying in this room alone again.

I sighed and got ready to go to the shower. The coldness of the tiled floor sent chills up my spine as it came into contact with my bare feet. The feeling reminded me of his cold hungry gaze and that thought later turned into me remembering the way he kissed me. Even though my head was in space remembering last night's hopefully just a dream my body was making its way to the shower. I couldn't deny that even though it was forced, it was gentle, tender and amazing. the longer his soft lips were on mine, the longer I wanted it to last, the longer it pulled me in. There was something about it that felt liberating like all the pain that I didn't know was sitting on my chest, had been lifted. I closed my eyes savoring the feeling of the warm drops of water falling onto my skin. I dreaded the other feelings that were churning within me about last night's events. The only conclusion I came to that made sense was that I needed to get out of this place as soon as I could, as soon the first flame or the first pile of sand caught the cloth wrapped around Grandma's body I should turn my back on this place once more but forever. I have a bad feeling about my coming here now, more than ever. This uneasiness takes me back to the time before I left. I got teary and immediately dismissed the thought.

As much as I wanted to my head couldn't ignore the fact that now that I was aware of the pain I had been shoving away and the only proven way to rid myself of it even though it was temporary was his kiss, the thought got me restless, does that mean I have to look for him to get that same euphoric feeling? To forget the heavy load weighing on me? What on earth was I going to do? I could feel the crack in my heart now. I knew it was there, it had always been there since I left but I had learnt to live with it at some point I stopped feeling it all at ince, I just numbed it out. So why now, why did one kiss from a stranger who popped of thin air awaken all this? Clearly theres much more i need to know about this being before I continue gushing about him. But wdamn it why is it so easy to do so why wont my head listen. My thoughts were interrupted by the singing of the senior girls. The bass tone of the hymn was loud and captivating it was the call to begin the ritual and that meant I needed to hurry if I wanted to get there on time.

After my shower, I put on a white spaghetti-strapped dress that covered me to my feet. I combed out my hair, covered up my vitiligo and put on the white masquerade-style mask I found laid out on my bed next to a candle. I put my sandals on and grabbed the candle to walk out of the room and just for a second I saw a glimpse of him again. In the chair just like last night. I could feel myself hyperventilating so rushed out of the room towards the sound of the singing. the summoning hymn wasn't helping it was setting an ominous mood the dimly lit hallway was aiding.