The Spiteful Sorting Hat

At Flourish and Blotts

"Why don't I get us a place in line?" Mrs. Zabini suggested, casting her eyes around the room to see where exactly the line began, "You can look among the shelves for the other books on your list."

They split up, dodging around the bodies of Lockhart's adoring fans to find their school supplies. Harry rummaged around the transfiguration books, searching for the assigned reading ordered by McGonagall that year. Landing on the correct text, Standard Book of Spells: Grade 2, he grabbed three copies, then went in search of the others. Blaise was lost somewhere in the herbology section, but Harry spotted Millie standing near the window display. He drew up to her side, and saw the look of distaste she was giving the smiling face on the novels.

"I can't believe we need to buy all of these," Millie said, "I'll bet the new Defense Against the Darks Arts teacher is a woman."

Harry looked at the various books on display, and suddenly thought of Millie's parents and their shabby finery. Millie was never dressed in robes that looked second-hand, but Harry wondered if the added expense of all these textbooks was really something they could afford. He wanted to help, but he didn't want to insult Millie. Thinking quickly, he began to gather the books in his arms.

"We should buy one set to share," Harry said, "You're right, it doesn't make sense to buy all of these books three times over. I was going to ask you to do my dark arts assignments anyway."

Thankfully, Millie didn't appear to suspect his real intentions. She merely nodded her head at the practicality of this plan, and said, "I'll do it if you do all of my transfiguration homework this year."

"Deal," Harry said instantly. It was no more than the plan they already worked out last year. He didn't need to ask to know that Blaise would gladly lend his charms talent to their homework-completion scheme.

Blaise appeared again just as Harry's thoughts had strayed to him. He clutched at his chest dramatically, gasping for air.

"I've only just made escaped," he said, "I thought I'd never make it out alive."

"Did you get the books?" Millie asked, ignoring his dramatics.

Blaise brandished a set of three potions books and the assigned charms reading, "Here, take them! I see how you are. Only using me to get to these books..."

"Speaking of using you," said Harry, "We're gonna split the homework again this year, so Millie and I are only getting one set of Lockhart's books."

"Not me!" Blaise declared, "I'm getting a signed set!"

"Really?" Millie asked, "You actually care about some puffed-up overnight celebrity?"

"And why not? These signed copies might be worth something someday. Actually, now that I think of it, it is better that we share a set. That way I can keep the signed ones in mint condition."

They rejoined Mrs. Zabini. While they had searched for their school books, she had worked her way nearly to the front of Lockhart's autograph line. Unlike the other witches, she appeared far less fussy, and didn't raise a hand to pat her hair the whole time she was waiting. Instead, Harry could detect a little self-satisfied smile at the corner of her mouth, as if she found the whole scenario highly amusing.

"Got them," Blaise said as they rejoined his mother. Mrs. Zabini accepted the set of books for the signing and glanced over the others in Blaise's hands. Harry and Millie stood nearby, but they hung back slightly, having already decided their books didn't need a signature.

Harry was just starting to wonder if they had better go make their purchases while Mrs. Zabini finished her business with the famous author, when she reached the front of the line. Gilderoy Lockhart's face brightened at the sight of this new fan. Harry was amazed his grin could grow even wider than it had been before. Harry figured he could see every one of Lockhart's teeth as he turned his sparkling eyes toward Mrs. Zabini.