Chasing Sapphire

22. SCARED

"I'll be leaving for New Jersey tomorrow." she informed me and before I could stop her, she had left. Knowing Bella, once she makes up her mind, there is nothing much one can do to stop her.

I wish she succeeds in finding something to help me because I can't stay here my whole life. I needed to go back to my life in London, to Theo and Zac, to my publishing firm. This place haunts me and if I don't leave soon, I would definitely go crazy.

I left the bed and looked for my bag to find my phone. While doing so, my eyes fell on the book hiding behind my laptop neatly. Sweet nothings.

It was the book Connor had given me. I traced my fingers alone the silhouette of the girl on the cover page.

The book was dedicated to his wife, who was his girlfriend back then, when he wrote this book. I felt bad for him for losing his wife whom he loved a lot. Why do good people have to suffer the most? They weren't harming anyone, then why did he have to lose her?

I was reading the first page when the door knocked. Putting the book aside, I went to the door to open it and found Connor standing outside.

"I brought coffee," he motioned towards the steaming hot cups.

"Oh, great," I said and opened the door for him. He placed the tray on the bed and sat down, waiting for me to sit beside. I did the same and scooted closer to him so that his warmth would help relieving the cold.

"Were you reading my book?" he asked with a smile lingering on his lips.

"Yeah, I just started it." I replied.

"It's embarrassing. I mean to have someone you know read your book." he grinned uncomfortably.

"I won't read it if you don't want." I said.

"Um... Well... You can read. Just skip the romantic parts." he said shyly.

"Oh," I chuckled. "Don't tell me there is some fifty shades type shit in here."

"Don't worry, there isn't." he responded and then added in a small voice. "I'm a pretty vanilla person."

"Good to know," I replied and then blushed on being inappropriate. "I mean... Well... Umm..."

"God, we both sure embarrass ourselves a lot in the other person's presence." he admitted and I nodded. My long hair covered my face that was probably burning by now.

"Yeah," I gulped and lifted my head to look at him.

Silence dawned upon us while we struggled to find words to communicate. We were sitting too close to each other and the environment in the room suddenly shifted. Connor had an inexplicable expression on his face as he stared at my face keenly. The green in his eyes was reduced to a small rim. I watched as his Adam's apple moved up and down while he scooted closer to me.

Is he going to kiss me?

My heart went haywire and I tried to figure out what to do. I wanted to close the distance between us but won't I look desperate? But if I back away, he would think I was not interested.

Shit.

What should I do? What should I do? What should I---

My thoughts stopped when his lips met mine and my eyes widened. It took me a minute to calm myself and lean into the kiss. Closing my eyes, I angled my neck and brought my hands to his jaw covered in light stubble.

His lips were soft against mine, while his hand was softly resting on my neck. In my previous relationships, the men were mostly interested in what happened after kiss but Connor looked like he was savouring this moment, committing each and every detail to his mind.

His tongue traced the seam of my lips and I obliged him by opening my mouth. A small moan left my mouth when his tongue entered my mouth and slowly flicked against mine, making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

We parted for our mutual need to breath. His face was flushed and his eyes were dilated, probably almost like mine. The urge to kiss him again overpowered me but now was not the time to succumb to my hormonal needs, not when my life was in danger.

Our eyes locked again, but neither of us spoke anything. "Um... The coffee... It's getting cold." I said.

"Yeah." he replied and picked up a cup, trying his best not to look at me.

"It's delicious," I said after taking a sip. It really was. The earlier event has left me cold and now this sip felt like a warm hug. Although a warm hug would feel much better, specially coming from the green-eyed sweetheart sitting in front of me. No, Sapphire. Just don't.

"Thanks." he replied, trying his best to find the balance between looking at me and avoiding looking at me.

The tension between us was almost suffocating. His taste was still there on my lips and with that thought, I licked my lips. His gaze lowered to my lips again at this action and he swallowed hard.

"I guess I should go." he said, standing up. His jaw was tightened and he was trying hard to be a gentleman.

"Good night," I replied.

After he left, I let out the sigh I was holding on. Closing my eyes, I imagined him kissing me again and a smile broke on my lips at that thought.

'Do you still want to leave this place?' A voice in my head said. Responding to it by yes proved much harder this time.

__________________________