Invisible string (lestappen)

Chapter 32 : Max

I love him.

I love everything about him. The way his dimples show up when he smiles or laughs a bit too hard. How competitive he is, to the point where losing a game would change his whole mood for the day. How passionate and determined he is about the things he loves.

'Oh, so you're not excluding other girls then ?'

I look up to meet his eyes.

'Charlie, the last thing you have to worry about is girls. Trust me'

He laughs lightly.

'I know'

After a few seconds, he starts getting up. The coldness I feel when his body leaves mine makes me want to grab him and force him to stay but I keep quiet.

'I'm going to take a shower'

I nod.

'Okay'

He leaves for the bathroom while I stay on the bed, too lazy to move. I bury my head in the pillow and sigh.

I'm in love with Charles.

What if he doesn't feel the same ? I mean I know he likes me but does he also feel those stupid butterflies everytime we're together ? Does he want to kiss me every time his eyes land on me ? Does he want to throw up at the idea of us not being together anymore ?

I'm honestly afraid to know the answer because I don't know if I'd be able to overcome the hurt it'd give me if he didn't feel the same way.

The vibration of a phone brings me back to reality. I look at the object on the nightstand. It's not mine. But as I was about to carry on with my current life crisis, it vibrates again multiple times.

I make the effort to get up to bring it to Charles. Maybe it's important.

As I take the phone in my hand, the screen lights up and the name I see on it makes my heart stop.

I read the text, which is something I feel definitely ashamed about but my curiosity decided otherwise.

It's from Alexandra.

'Thank you <3'

'You know I'm always here for you too !'

I can't read the previous ones since I don't have his passeword and frankly, I don't know if I'd like to.

Why would he talk to her again ? I thought they were over. I thought...

Who does that ? Who sends heart texts to their exe ?

I can't shake the feeling of betrayal growing in my stomach.

I take a deep breath to calm myself.

It's okay. There must be an explanation to this. I know him, he'd never do that to me. He'd never hurt me on purpose.

The fact that I'm starting to doubt it makes my heart twist.

'Okay, I'm done'

I stare at him, the phone still in my hand, as he enters the bedroom, a white towel around his waist.

No words come out of my mouth despite all the things I'd want to say in this moment.

'Are you okay ?'

He takes a few steps in my direction.His hands land on my shoulder as he meets my gaze, visibly worried.

'What's wrong ?'

'Why are you talking to her ?', I ask accusingly.

He frowns.

'Who are you talking about ?'

I show him the screen impatiently.

'Don't pretend like you don't know. I've just seen the texts'

His eyes widen but he stays silent.

Why ? Why doesn't he say anything ?

I feel the tears forming around my eyes but force myself to keep a straight face.

'You were the last person I thought would be capable of doing that to me. Guess I was wrong'

His eyes jerk to my face.

'I'd never do anything to hurt you Max'

'Well, you just did'

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

'I'm sorry, I should've told you I texted her. But it's not what you think'

I almost want to laugh at the line. It's not what I think ? What is it then ? What good reason could he have to be talking to her out of all people ?

'She lost her mother a few days ago and I... I know what it feels like so I wanted to be there for her', he confesses with a crack in his voice.

I swallow with difficulty. Okay that is indeed a good reason. Now, I feel like an idiot. Great.

'I don't know what to say'

He offers me a small smile.

'You don't have to say anything. I'm really sorry'

I shake my head at his apology. He has nothing to apologize for. Yes, I wish he would've told me but I should've waited for his explanation before jumping to conclusions. I'm so stupid.

'Is she okay ?'

He exhales.

'As okay as you can be when you lose someone you love. But she'll be alright, eventually'

I take his hand in mine. Hoping my presence will be enough to remove the sadness emanating from him. I hate to see him like this. If I could take all his pain and put it on me, I would. Without hesitation.

'I wish I could bring him back to you, you know'

He smiles but I can tell how difficult it is for him to talk about it.

'I know you do'

I take him in my arms. Tightening the hug as if it would make all his painful feelings go away. I desperately wish it did.

His head land on my shoulder, where it belongs.

'You're the only person I want to be with'

He breaks the hug to look me in the eyes. The sincerity I can read in them giving me all the reassurance I needed.

I should've never doubted his trust. That was the stupidest thing I did, but I couldn't help feeling jealous. The idea of losing him scares me.

Now that I know how amazing it feels to be with him, how could I handle being alone again ?

I couldn't.

'You are too', I whisper.