I believe in something, I believe in us - Upstead

Chapter One

Maybe he hasn't gotten it because he couldn't see the way she was looking at him with sad eyes on one of the two times they had managed to facetime each other in the first couple of months after he left.

Maybe he just hadn't gotten it.

But maybe he had, maybe this was what he wanted and this would be the end of them.

Maybe this was just how their story ended.

She loved him with all her heart, he was the love of her life but she wasn't sure if the damage that had been done was repairable.

It started with her taking off her ring and now she had filed for divorce.

The life that she had imagined with him was gone, disappearing from her thoughts.

She couldn't hold on anymore, not if it was going to be like this.

She couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't hold on to the thought of a life she would never have, a life that she wanted with him but he couldn't give it to her, not when he was a million miles away and they hadn't spoken to each other in months.

She held out for the eight months, then nine, and ten and eleven and now it was reaching a year and she just couldn't do it anymore.

Maybe this would make him come back, maybe this would end their story, maybe their story had already ended.

She sat down on the edge of her (their) bed and sighed, as she ran her hand over the sheets, they had shared so many great memories in this bed, some extremely intimate moments and others where they were just being them, and now she was alone in her bed, in a new apartment, still trying to cling onto the life that she maybe could've had.

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Jay came back from his mission four days later, the papers still sitting in his pigeon hole, waiting to be signed.

He grabbed them out and held them tight while finding somewhere to sit so he could read them over.

He found an empty table in the corner of their eating area and sat down, by now word had spread, thanks to Samuel accidentally telling the wrong person about what he had seen so everyone let him be.

It's not like it would take long for it to spread anyways, there wasn't that many of them there, but still it annoyed him, the looks of pity he got from the others just made his skin crawl, he didn't need pity, it was all his own fault, he left her, essentially she was a single women from the moment he extended his stay.

He knew this day would probably come sooner or later but it still hit him like a ton of bricks.

He read carefully over the papers, and then signed the front page where it requested his signature.

Divorce without children was displayed on the front page.

This threw him through a loop, him and Hailey had, had casual conversations about kids before, when they were friends and once they were together, being with her had changed his whole outlook on what he wanted in his future, they had talked about having a couple of kids in the future maybe and it had lead him to think about what it would be like to be a father to a mini Hailey but of course he had to go and ruin it.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to hit things, he just wanted all of this to stop, but it was too late, it was too late for that he had gone and thrown it all down the drain by leaving and not talking to her, his wife. She was his wife, they were supposed to be in this together and he took it upon himself to make this decision by himself without talking with her first.