Dark Song

3.21.13 - 6:55 A.M

Okay so, here's the deal: I'm messed up.

No, not your average messed up, where maybe you like two guys at the same time and you feel like a whore for it. Not the messed up where you feel as if you can't ever get anything right - though I won't say that, sometimes, that isn't true. And not the messed up where you think something's wrong with your head because you can't be like everybody else, all happiness and rainbows and sunshine....

No, I'm more like the messed up where I just don't know who I am.

My life's real screwy right now. Don't know left from right, up from down, wrong from right because in the end they all get you to the same place and that definitely isn't where I want to be. I want to be up, far far away in the ice-tipped breeze under a blue Montana sky. But can't get there from here. Can't get anywhere from here. Here is no place in the middle of nowhere with nobody but yourself for company and a lonely moon whose too busy giving light on a cold winter night to give a damn about you.

Wish I could have somebody. Somebody to make this life worth living, worth laughing about. Worth reminiscing when I'm old and grey and nobody gives a damn about this old keezer anymore....

But I guess if I had that, life would be just too easy.

Gotta get to school now. Bells a ringing, kids a singing and punching other kids in the mouth. Isn't where I want to be either. But it's closer to my destination than home. Safer than home. Homier than home. And if there's nothing else, I'll take that.

Well folks, this is the end of the line for today.

Peace.