Jake Peralta - B99

Ep.5 - The Vulture

Precinct

Jake: Hey, you guys see the dude I brought in today... The drug dealer? 81 years old. I think it's the oldest collar of my entire career.

Amy: I once arrested a 96-year-old for flashing. I was terrified he'd die in my backseat... Or flash me.

Scarlett: 102 years old. Shot over ten policemen with a sniper. She was dead scary as well. 

Rosa: My oldest collar was 78, but the PCP made her fight like she was 20.

Scully: What about two 50-year-old twins? Does that count as a 100-year-old?

Amy: No good.

Jake: No.

Charles: You talking oldest bags? 68.

Amy: That's not that old.

Charles: Yeah, but I was only 20.

Jake: 20? Were you even a cop then?

Charles: No, man, it was before I got into the academy.

Rosa: Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest.

All: Ew!

Charles: No... yes, I am. Yeah, oldest arrest... 68, like I said.

Jake: God, you had sex with a 68-year-old when you were in your 20s?

Charles: You know how it is. When you have a chance to bed an older woman, you... 

Jake: No, that is not an older woman. That's an old woman! That's someone's grandma!

Charles: She was, actually. That's how I met her. Went to college with her grandson Marvin. Don't... don't knock it till you try it. She had a replacement hip with some serious torque. It was like having sex with a transformer.

Jake: No. That is no one's fantasy.

Scarlett: I'm leaving. NO MORE SEX TALK PEOPLE IF I CAN HEAR IT. 

99th Precinct Morning BRIEFING

Terry: Peralta... Where are we on the Lincoln place murder?

Jake: Well, like I told Captain Holt earlier this week, we are at the one-yard line. It's a football reference.

Terry: Yes, Jake. I played linebacker at Syracuse.

Boyle: Really? In High School, I played center field in the musical damn Yankees.

Jake: Yeah, you don't want to brag about that.

Holt: Peralta, you want to loop everyone in?

Jake: Ehh...

Holt: That was not a request.

Jake: Fine. [Groans] Get ready for some stuff on a screen. Meet Fred Gorman... Prominent citizen, lawyer, corpse. Now meet his wife, Ann Hoert. She did not take his last name, but I believe she did take his life.

Charles: Nice.

Jake: Thank you, Charles. Now, Hoert had means, motives, and opportunity. I just need to find the murder weapon. For some reason, the D.A. won't move forward with the arrest until we find the knife she used.

Holt: Is that reason that they want to win the case?

Jake: Yes.

Holt: Well, find it. The family's close to the mayor, and I'm catching heat from the higher-ups. I'm gonna ask you again. Do you need any resources or personnel?

Jake: No, sir, I've got it.

Holt: Okay. Dismissed! Sergeant Jeffords, my office.

Gina: Uh-oh. He probably wants to talk to you about how your shirts aren't tight enough probably.