𝕸𝖞 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 | ᴏꜱᴄᴀʀ ᴅɪᴀᴢ

5. In his blood

It was 3pm on a Sunday, I was changing my shirt, until I heard my door open. "Oh my god, learn how to knock!" I said, expecting it to be my brother. I turned around to see Ruby, standing at the door, covering his eyes. "I'm sorry, but I got some crazy news." He said, breathing heavily, seeming like he ran here from his home. "What is it?" I said putting my shirt on. "Can I open my eyes?" He asked. I walked over to him and pulled his hand away from his eyes. "Dressed, see?" I rolled my eyes. "Cesar's in trouble!" He said, grabbing my shoulders with both hands. "What happened?" I asked, worried. "He joined Santos!" Ruby said, knowing what Cesar and I have promised to each other. To never be associated with them, other than being related. Even though they kept us safe, the lifestyle was definitely not. I felt incredibly disappointed. "Where is he?" I asked, ready to yell at him. "At his house, Sad Eyes is there too." Ruby answered. "So Antonio knew, but he didn't tell me?" I asked, my face filled with anger, disappointment and sadness. "I'm sorry, Luna." Ruby said.

I felt betrayed, by everyone. I didn't think twice, I walked to the Diaz' house, not thinking straight. I saw all of them hanging outside on the front yard, Cesar included. I walked towards him and pushed him. "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you that fucking stupid?" I yelled at him, surrounded by a bunch of Santos, some laughing, some not. "Chill out, what's wrong with you?" Cesar yelled, which made my blood boil even more. "What's wrong with me? I can't believe you!" I felt my nose stinging, knowing the tears were coming, but I had to stay tough. "Did you get jumped in or welcomed with open arms, huh?" I yelled lifting his shirt. The thought of him getting hurt kills me. I didn't like yelling at him, but he promised. He promised me not to join them. "Mana, calm down." I heard my brother say to me, trying to pull me aside. "Fuck you! How could you not tell me about this?" I yelled, this time with tears streaming down my face. I've always been worried about the whole 'gang' situation, the fear of losing my brother eating me up. He has always kept me out of it, but this time he shouldn't have. "Don't talk to me like that." He said, feeling disrespected, which I've never done before in my life, and to be honest, speaking like that to him didn't feel right. "Did y'all jump him in?" I ask looking at the guys. The silence gave me an answer. I walked over to Oscar, not being intimidated by him this time. I got right in his face, which may have looked absolutely ridiculous, because of the height difference. "Was it fun beating up your brother, huh? Are you actually that messed up?" I looked him right in the eye. He stared right back, without saying a word. "Luna, I wanted this, they didn't force me to do anything!" Cesar yelled at me. I felt the anger slowly drift away from me, being replaced with utter sadness. I looked at the ground, fighting the tears. "Fuck. You. All of you." I said, knowing I had just made an absolute fool of myself, in front of the people I loved the most. Hell, they're my family.

I walked home, not knowing what to do. Did I overreact? Am I being dramatic? I know Antonio and Oscar could handle being in 'the life', but I know for a fact Cesar could not. He was too empathetic, sensitive and loving, just like I was.

I got home, knowing Antonio would quickly follow me, seeing how this whole thing affected me. I walked back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. I felt embarrassed about the scene I caused, but at the same time, I was hurt, and genuinely worried. Maybe I should've waited for my feelings to calm down, but what's done is done. I heard the front door get slammed open, and my brother standing in the door frame. "What the fuck was that, Luna?" He yelled at me. I looked at him and felt my mouth dry up. I didn't even feel mad anymore, I couldn't help but burst into tears. Antonio's eyes turned soft, and he walked up to me, taking me in his arms. I sobbed into his flannel, feeling like an absolute cry baby. "I'm sorry mana, it was his decision." He said stroking my hair. "Why didn't Oscar stop him?" I asked, lifting my head to look at him. "Trust me, he tried to." Antonio answered, leaving me surprised. He actually wanted it? I wiped my tears and stepped back. "I'm scared mano. I'm really scared that he'll get hurt." Antonio sighed. "I know you are. But don't blame him. It's in his blood." He said, lifting his shoulders. I sat down on the couch, and rested my head on my hands. "I'm so embarrassed." I whined. "You don't have to be, you're just worried, which shows that you care for him." He sat down next to me. "You crazy for yelling at Spooky tho, ain't nobody brave like that." He chuckled, making me realize that I actually just yelled at Oscar. "Oh my god. He's gonna kill me." I said, grabbing my brother's shoulder. "Maybe, maybe not." He laughed knowing I was not. I glared at him, making him laugh even more. "I'm joking, dumbass. I think you just caught him off guard." He said, patting my back. "You can talk to him tonight, they're coming over." He told me and got up. "What?" I looked at him with my eyes almost popping out of my head. "Yup, and this time you gotta be nice." My brother said and left. Okay, I have to calm down, let's act like nothing happened. Yeah, that works.