"A paper clip is a very simple innovation. It is just a twisted metal but it can keep things together (not permanently though, but still). I even had a paper clip tattoo to remind myself every day that "I should keep things together". For me, it symbolizes life more because it has a starting point and an end point."
^the thing i got the idea from
(TW: self harm and suicide mentions)
I had been thinking recently about how this was me and Brady's one year anniversary and how before I had met him I was in rough state . I mean in fucking bad place.
(Backstory)
I was always sleeping, trying to get out of the world I was in, I would harm myself in many ways trying to feel anything but the shit I was living through.
I would try to hide all of those things in front of anyone, they dont give a shit is what I thought. I mean my parents taught me that counselors or therapists only act like they care for money.So I never told or let anyone know.
There was that one day that was the best and worst day ever. I was at my lowest that day, I had made my mind up on giving up that night. As I was I school acting as I normally would but every period all my teachers would tell me about my grades and how I'm not working hard enough.
Except my math teacher, he told me that he wanted to have someone to tutor me a bit during lunch for today and then a bit after school to help me. He didn't want me to waste my potential, is what he had said.
Trust me I never was going to go but I honesty didn't have anything to do which I'm so grateful for now. When I went to the library where we were supposed to meet up I saw a guy. He had dark brown hair, pretty gray eyes and some freckles.
"Hi I'm Brady" he said with a cheerful voice and a welcoming smile. "Hey I'm y/n" i said with what was a genuine smile.wtf is up wt me.
As we talked about the material and how to do it. We reached the end of lunch. We met again afterschool as the teacher had told us. He helped me finally do an assignment . We had finished and he asked me things about me which I told him.
As we sat there talking about random stuff for 20 minutes he told me he had to leave to pick his brother up from some place he was at.
As we both were about to leave, he asked "hey I really liked hanging out with you, not just cause of homework"
"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school with me tomorrow" he said
In my mind I thought that's nice. I was happy for once in a long ass time. "ummm.. sure tomorrow sounds ok" I told him.
"Ok yea so I'll see you afterschool meet me here then" he nervously but happily. "Ok I'll see you" I said smiling "bye" I told him. "Byeeee y/n" he said joyfully.
As I was heading to my house I thought. Hey maybe there might be something to be happy or worth staying in this messed up world for. The other feelings had gone away once I had Brady in mind.
(End backstory...sorry if it was long)
As I was in my thoughts about me and Brady I knew he had saved me. He helped me overcome the negative stuff. When I had told him about that stuff. He told me I was beautiful no matter what scar but he had made sure I stoped I had explained that once I met him I had never done it again.
He helped me overcome that, and with him I knew I wasn't going to be ever in that state. So I wanted to make promise to myself that I would alive no matter what bad things I wanna do.
A paperclip tattoo was the thing I wanted for myself. A promise to myself. I was going to get one I just needed to tell Brady.once he was over today would tell him.
•••••••
Once he had arrived and we were both in bed watching our phones, i got the courage to ask him.
"hey brady ..uhh i was wondering since you know were like about to be a year together" i told him and he just looked listening . "You know how i was in a bad place right before meeting you, umm..i wanted to get a paperclip tattoo for myself " i told him nervously.
"Really? thats your amazing and, i love you so much just know that " he said to me with a happy expression on his face "you know im glad that your doing it but are you sure" he said to me aswell, i looked at him with a sure face
"ya i mean ever since ive met you, i dont know i just never got to the point i would ever have to do anything or ever think in a bad way" i replied
"i mean i really want to get it cause You literally saved me" i told him as he just looked at me with a loving expression. "Im glad that you wanna do it i fully support it baby'' he said in a caring way. "thank you bray i just wanted to tell you cause you helped through it i wanted to go like next week to get it done"
"thants great ill drive you if i can along" he asked me "ya of course you will bray" i told him laughing a bit while smiling.
***************
After the tatto artist was finished i started to cry a bit, which brady hugged me as he noticed. "Im so proud of you baby" he told me with a gentle voice.
AN: heyyyy i dont know how to feel about this i hope you liked. so sorry i couldnt update this soner ive had a lot to do afterschool and a lot of schoolwork as well but this chapter is kinda special to me idk but i hope you are in a bad place rn but if you are just know I'm open to talk to for what ever. Also As reminder to eat and drink something today and take care of yourself. If you have eaten 🍩🍔🥪🥤🧋for you. I'll try to post more frequent also the requests are being worked on. Also I didn't reread this I just wrote and hopd it was good sorry.
-cami💕.
