Destiny

Chapter One: Amelia

I spill my coffee, almost drenching my laptop. Thankfully, the door clicked closed a second ago, letting me know that my client had walked out of the room and didn't see my embarrassing clumsiness.

I sigh and quietly thank God that I didn't ruin my laptop. My life was ruined enough. I don't need a broken laptop on top of everything that is already going on.

I clean the mess slowly. In no rush to go back to that empty house, or lay in the empty bed, or feel my empty womb. I want nothing more than to hurry and pack the rest of my things and get the hell out of Baltimore.

My heels click against the marble floors of my office as I walk to my closet to grab my things. I wish I could say that I am sad to leave my beautiful office for a few months, but I have not an ounce of regret.

I can't take the weight of others' problems on top of my own. This is the best thing I can do for myself.

I walk out of my office with my head held high, chest out, shoulders back. I let a fake smile paste onto my face. My coworkers don't know about the divorce. They are clueless about the miscarriage. They couldn't even begin to imagine what I have been through these last couple of months. And I intend to keep it that way.

"Hey, Amelia!" Sophie says cheerfully behind the front desk. She is glued to her desktop, probably making changes for my departure.

"Hi, Sophie," I say back. I could've been more chirpy, but I don't have the energy to perform this whole charade for ten hours and some.

"Long day, huh? I am just finishing up on client scheduling." She looks up, peering over her glasses, "Ready for vacation?"

I laugh. "More like temporary leave. Once again, thank you so much for helping me out. With scheduling, paperwork, and everything. I promise you will have a raise coming soon."

Sophie's eyes light up. Even though she has only been here for a few months, I believe she deserves a raise. Running your own practice takes a lot out of a person, but having someone like her makes it so much easier.

"Thank you so much. And really, it isn't a problem. I enjoy being able to help you out."

I smile. She is just one of those people that God sends out of nowhere. One of those rarities that have such a pure soul and a heart of gold.

"Well," I say, walking over to the coat rack, "I will be going now. Remember, Jessica will be running things until I get back. So contact her if you need anything."

She nods, but before she can say anything more, I rush through the doors and enter the winter air. My trench coat threatens to rise as the wind blows harshly. My eyes water from the cold, but I trudge forward, making my way to the bench to wait for my uber.

I pull my gloves from my pocket, wanting nothing but my body to be warm. It is about to be Christmas and the winter in Baltimore is a bit too in the spirit this year. I wish my car was out of the shop already, then I wouldn't have to freeze into an icicle before my ride arrives.

I sit for a few minutes, shivering under the chilly air. I tuck my hands underneath my thighs to get some type of warmth. Then, the expected happens.

My mind starts to wander. Thoughts start rolling in like a terrible storm. I can't shy away from the memories. I can't erase the past, no matter how hard I try to.

Surprisingly, I didn't think of the specific events. My mind didn't make me go through all the feelings of grief, betrayal, and heartbreak all over again. It went further. It passed the positive pregnancy test, passed the wedding day, flew by our first apartment. No, it went all the way back to when I was just a teen. When I said 'yes' to Bryan asking me out. To when I had first pressed submit on my university application.