On The Run (Under Severe Editing)

Can This Day Get Any Worse?

I repeat: not a good morning.

“I hate you.” I groaned standing up and wiping off the drool on Lucia’s bed. It’ll be dry in a few minutes…hopefully.

“I hate you too.” She replied and got up from the ground. “Now who is gonna make food?”

“Well you’re in luck.” I said sniffing the air like one of those trained super smart police dogs. “Someone’s already making breakfast. Bacon, toast, eggs, pancakes, steak and apple juice …”

“How do you smell all that?” Kim interrupted, a confused look spread across her face. “I can’t smell anything besides your bad breath from across the room.” She laughed.

“I will dress you as a lettuce and feed you to the snails; it will be a very slow and painful death. And as for the fact you are unable to smell food is because I am more trained in the culmary arts.”

“You mean culinary arts?” Kim corrected with that smart ass ‘how’d you make it passed 5th’ grade look I get so often it’s not even funny anymore.

“Whatever.” I waved her off then started running towards the door and down the stairs with Kim a few steps behind me. “FOOD!” Kim and I both yelled running through the kitchen door.

“Not so fast! Guests first.” Mom stopped me from plummeting face first into the food and gave me a pointed look as if she’s asking where’s my manners. One would think after 17 years she’ll know me by now.   “Kim go ahead, help yourself.”

“Thanks Lorraine.” Kim smiled politely at mom before sticking her tongue out at me and started loading her plate oh so slowly, taunting me.  I’m so putting bees in her bed tonight…or the snails, which ever bites the hardest. Wait, bees don’t bite. So snails it is.

“Take a seat Lex, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Mom said interrupting my little moment. Oh, this can’t be good.

I sat down hesitantly down in one of the chairs, still keeping an eye on the food whilst still trying to look at mom at the same time. Gosh, I probably look like a complete weirdo right now. Well, nothing new there.

“Okay, I don’t know how to say this,” mom started hesitantly. “But I know deep down you knew this day would come…

I sighed, cutting mom off. “You finally took grandma’s advice. You’re sending me to military school, aren’t you?”

“No were not…”

“Don’t listen to her mom! She’s a crazy delusional old lady who is only one more step away from being locked up a high tech security mental institution. Mommy those bad men are going to break my spirit! I’m gonna be boring and normal and…Oh my God I’m gonna end up like Uncle Ken!”

“Alexis, honey calm down.” Mom quickly handed me a full plate of food knowing it’ll calm me down and I quickly started eating. “We’re not sending you to military school…although we have talked about it…” She quickly stopped talking once she saw the horrified expression on my face. “But we won’t do it.” She added quickly. “What I wanted to say, before you interrupted me, was that you’re starting school tomorrow.”

I was so in shock that I spit the food in my mouth all over Kim who sat on the opposite side of me just as she was about to take a bite out of her food.

Now normally I would very much enjoy this moment, but everything is ruined by the‘s’ word.

“No, mom please, you can't do this to me! You know what; forget what I said about grandma, she’s not crazy. She’s very wise for her age. You should listen to her. Let those bad men break my spirit, it’ll teach me structure, discipline and manners, just like you’ve always wanted me to have.  And now that I think about it, Uncle Ken isn’t such a bad guy after all even if he does all that horrible, horrible legal things.”