Rudra :Her Safest Place

it's me

Here me being totally frustrated bcs I woke late and now I have  go to college.
Ooh I don't introduced myself, myself  ridhi  and I live in india with my parents and my one and only  irritating brother aditya , we fight a lot and end of the day got scolded by parents, so life is going like this  normally there is lot of things which make  me broke
Oohh I need to go take bath I'm late🏃💨
After freshing up I came downstairs and saw my mom and dad in kitchen doing some little romance
I always see them being lovely dovely they are so cute together
I manifesting this type of person in my but here I'm 19 years old and never dated anyone but I doesn't mean I didn't fall in love ,I fall in love but one sided and it's been 6 years still I love that person and he is RUDRA my, My rudra , but I never felt anything from his side, still I love him unconditionally
Ooh I talk too much I forgot I have to go college so I need to do breakfast
"Mom I need breakfast" I said and saw my dad leaving my mom
"Wait on dining table I'm coming" My mom said
I sat on the chair and wait for my mom to give me breakfast, here my dad also come
"Good morning princess "
My dad said

"Ooh good morning dad " I said
"How are going your study " My dad asked
"Good" I said
"Just good? " Dad said
"Yes dad what are you expecting from me other than good even you know I don't have intrest in nursing, I wanted be a doctor, let's not talk about that"
I said those trauma which I felt I don't wanna to remember that was the worst part of my life
Yes I'm a nursing student and I just came home for someday bcs I had some holiday leave, now I'm going to back to the my hostel life, so decided to go direct college then hostel, now I'm leaving my useless brother is still sleeping
Never mind I'll wake him up bcs I want to meet him bcs I don't know when I'm gonna meet him
My mom came with breakfast from kitchen and my dad go silent after listening me , mom serve breakfast
I go back to my room where my brother sleeping
"Hello doggy wake up its late I have to go back"  I said
He didn't listen or move
"Abae kutta uth jaa" I said
(Ooh dog wake up)
Then he move a little and gave me a irritating smile and again go back in blanket
"I feel frustrated seriously
I'm leaving you want woke up then wake up  I don't care " I said and go back for breakfast
After sometimes he came from  room
He look like he freshen up already 
Do he sat his chair and mom serve him breakfast
"Good morning guys "  Aditya said while eating
Mom dad and me laugh looking at him
He is eating like he didn't eat in a week
After sometimes we finish our breakfast and I dressed up for going to college
I greet my parents and my brother then take leave
Here me going back to that frustrating life and missing my family we didn't talk too much bcs we had argument last night
Causally my family is  best for me
But something which i never forgot which they did with me I'm trying to forgot but it's not happening I hope one day I'll forgot those things and accept them as a normal loving parents
Now I reached in my hostel bcs I have bag which mom gave me lot of things to eat so after keeping the things in my room I freshen up little then go to college that place which I hate it the most rn
What should I do I have to live like this

Here me in the college seeing lot people my social enxiety is increasing I need to go in my classroom as soon as possible
I paas  main hall of the college and feel so relax like I had cross a sea and saw the border after seeing my classroom
Never mind I  always feel like this
Don't think I feel good in my classroom I just feel little less anxiety

"Good morning beautiful " My friend nitya said ,she is the only whose I can relays on in any prblm in college
We are good friend
I got so much trust issues, so I made frnd very little
I have just 2-3 friends in college ( nitya, ashish, rooh)
I was not always like this, I was totally extrovert until that trauma totally changed me

Hii guys please I know it's boring but can please tell me how it was I'll continues this
And after 1-2 chal I'll be interesting I promise
Bye bye 😘