Sokeefe Snippets

Foster Panic Attack

They kept going on and on and on about her failures, and Sophie flinched with every insult thrown at her. Each cutting deeper than the last.

But the worst came at the end.

"We never should've adopted you," Grady spat.

"You'll never be enough," Edaline uttered.

This was all too much for her. She froze, her heart pounding, her hands shook. Her head felt heavy and weak. Her lungs burned and her eyes leaked. Tears pouring down.

Sophie stumbled out of the house, needing air. Her head was spinning. She gasped for air. Every word, every accusation, rang inside her head on repeat.

"They're right, they're all right, it IS my fault. I don't deserve them."

It was like a broken radio, repeating again and again. Sophie wanted it to stop the voice—it hurt. Stabbing her brain, pain and hurt and guilt.

So.

Much.

Guilt.

She was almost surprised her mind wasn't broken already. Her mind was dark and she was swimming in self-hatred.

Sophie found herself walking to the cave.

Where it all started. Not really. But where they started. Where it started.

She sat there, thinking—hating. Hating herself. Everyone hated her. Nowhere to go, no one to be with, no one to comfort her. No that she deserved any of that. She deserved nothing. She didn't deserve to live after being the cause of many people's death.

Kenric.

Mr Forkle.

Cassius.

Oralie.

Her heart stilled at the last name. Cries racked her body as she broke down. Her hands tangled in her hair as she laid her head on her knees, her entire body shaking. Their last words were all still engraved in her mind. All Oralie wanted was for Sophie to forgive her. Who was she to forgive Oralie? If anything, Sophie should've been apologizing. Lord Cassius had begged for forgiveness. For treating his son horribly. And he had asked her to be there for him. Always. How could she do that when he hated her? Blamed her for the loss of both his parents? It had hit him hard. He was devastated.

Mr Forkle had told her to stay his brave moonlark. But how could she remain brave? How could she be brave when she was such a fool—a coward? She might be the moonlark, but she let down everyone who cared about her. She couldn't prevent the losses, she should have given herself up and put an end to this when she had the chance. Stopped all of this before they even started.

Now it was too late.

Too late to fix anything.

They despised her and didn't even want to look at her. She should have done what Cassius and Oralie did and sacrificed herself. She would be more help dead than alive.

She felt the floor around her shake, crumble to dust on top of her. Crushing her. The last thing she heard was her blood-curdling scream that rattled off the cave walls as everything caved in on her.

"GAH!" Sophie gasped, tearing her eyes open. She sat up on her bed. Her hands shaking, sweat trickling down her face. She looked around frantically, noticing she was in her room at Havenfield. "But–how...?" She trailed off as realization hit her.

Another nightmare.

It seemed so...realistic. Sophie felt her heart pounding, her hands shaking, sweat running down her back, her head spinning. She looked to the window to see it was still well before sunrise.