𝘛𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦: 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴
𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳: Ate_moNice
𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 Overview:
𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘣 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦.
The story begins on an interesting note with a lot of action and suspense which keeps us the reader hooked. What happened for things to reach to that point? Who was the victime so closed to that it made a crazy girl cut her leg? The following chapter we are introduced to Clover. We see her dilemma of starting a fresh in a new school and getting use to it and at the spot she is bombarded with the news of someone's dead in it. In my opinion and hust as I clearly stated in other reviews, starting the story directly with the conflict that was brought up in the blurb is very important for readers not to get bored enough. The flow in this chapter is very good and captivating. There are minimal mistakes and punctuation errors making me guess that you've edited it. The only thing I spotted was where you wrote " Speaker: Attention students... " Making us understand the information that was coming out. I will like you to instead put the information down and then add: the words came out from the speaker, told by the school's head teacher. Also, you are fun of writing "there weren't any people... " Which should instead be "there was no body, nobody was... " Since it look better when said.
The next chapter is also good. We see Clover's interest for those cases growing ans growing as many other creeping things keep on happening around her. At the beginning of the chapter in one conversation between Clover and her friend she said (I looked at Rhea with my face frowning) which should be edited to "I looked at Rhea, a frown on my face" Or "A a scrowl appeared on my face as I looked at Rhea" Apart from that I think of your story as having a good plot. All what you promised us in your description is been revealed and all kinds I'd emotion are uneavel as we dive deeper.
