𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 // matt sturniolo imagines

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐝

you and matt have never been a couple that argues. for the most part, you agreed on many things. boundaries were shared and respected, communication was a regular occurrence; arguments rarely happened. to you, matt was a breath of fresh air. your previous relationships were as toxic as a nuclear power plant, constantly erupting neon green waste that was horrible for your environment. matt, however, he always simply understood.

today started off normal. you woke up to a kiss on the forehead, opening your eyes to reveal yourself enveloped in matt's arms and him staring at you with a soft, subtle smile. he made you breakfast; a blueberry lavender latte paired with fresh bread his mom had baked the night before, accompanied with strawberry preserves. he had watched you get ready to go to work, asking to help you with your makeup; you obliged and allowed him to blend everything with a beauty blender. he kissed you goodbye, kissing you like the world was about to end, and gave you a tight hug before you left. all day at work, you thought of seeing your favorite boy again.

when the clock hit 6:30, you grew excited to see him again. suddenly, your smile turned into a toddler's, whose parents decided to take them out for ice cream. pushing the key into the doorknob, you unlocked the door, expecting to be greeted by your boyfriend. however, the universe had different plans for how he'd greet you.

you walked into the room and saw him, deeply focused on the screen in front of him. normally, he would've noticed your presence and greeted you with a warm hug like he always does. however, the sound of the keys on his keyboard typing didn't stop. you shrugged it off, thinking he possibly just didn't hear the door open. maybe he had an airpod in.

"hi matt," you welcomed, curling up next to him on your bed.

he pushed you off, "not right now."

"are you alright? you seem tense."

"i'm fine," he grumbled, "can you go away? i'm trying to focus."

your patience was wearing thin. how could he go from kissing you goodbye to telling you to go away?

"talk to me, baby," you urged in a gentle voice, "tell me what's wrong."

"there's nothing wrong. stop nagging at me, i'm busy," his voice grew strained and frustrated, almost like he was talking to someone who just rear-ended his car, "go bother someone else."

you looked at him with a confused, yet anguished face. he wouldn't even lay his eyes on yours as he spoke with such poison. you got up and went to the living room, attempting to indulge in pieces of dark chocolate and a shitty rom-com. normally, you and matt would be laughing at how corny movies like that were. he'd act like he wasn't a true romantic, almost like how he was acting in that moment.

you hated to admit it, but you were angry. you weren't an angry person, nor was he. however, it was like he was sick and passed on that sickness onto you; sick with the feeling of negative emotion draining both of you from communicating. you didn't want to speak to him. you soon thought back on his harsh words; telling you to go bother someone else and to stop nagging him. all you were trying to do was be a girlfriend; all you were trying to do was help.

"go bother someone else." you had spoken to him a couple of times about feeling like a burden. he was a busy man. matt was always emailing different partnerships, going on tour and being away with fans, taking business calls and calls from his manager; you felt bad for being the reason he stays behind. you felt bad for being the reason that, instead of being with his brothers and his friends in boston, he was with you. now, he reassured you that he willingly chooses to be with you. you're his life and the person to keep him from sinking when everything weighs him down. he sees you as the only break he gets from such a hectic lifestyle. however, the words he had just spoken to you contradicted every ounce of reassurance he had given you.

by the time it was 8, you had made dinner for both of you. sure, you were upset, but you didn't want him to be hungry. you opened the door to your room and placed down a sandwich on the nightstand next to him. he noticed the sound of the plate sliding on the wooden table, to which he looked at you and the food you were giving him.

"thanks," he muttered, training his eyes back on the screen.

you grew too tired to start an argument. you never wanted to start an argument in the first place. you sighed, leaving the room and closing the door silently behind you. you were no longer mad at him. you missed him and you were confused on why he suddenly grew quiet and cold. by now, he'd be asking how your day was. to which, you'd tell him every small detail and aspect of everything you did and he'd admire the way your eyes squint whenever you smile at small parts of your story. you wanted to sleep. yet, you didn't want to be in the same bed as the reason you were so sad.

you went to the closet in front of the bathroom and grabbed a blanket and pillow. you placed the pillow on the couch and laid your head onto it, wrapping yourself in the fuzzy blanket matt had bought you because you stared at it for too long at the store. your eyes started to tear up from the thought of his sudden coldness towards you. not long after your nose started to sniffle from the tears, you were soon asleep.

matt lost focus of the spreadsheet he was working on for tour and looked at the clock. it was now three in the morning, long after you were asleep. he stretched his arms and back as he wondered where you were. soon after, a wave of guilt hit him after he realized his austerity towards you. shutting off his laptop, he got up to go look for you.

his guilt was amplified after seeing you, curled on the couch with your knees to your chest. tear stains aligned the inner corners of your eyes and formed on your cheeks. he felt horrible after hurting the one person who was trying to show she cares. he sat on the edge of the couch, tucking your hair behind your ear and kissing your forehead. the sudden touch woke you up, staring at matt with sleepy eyes and a heavy heart.

you hated confrontation. you would rather back down than fight, especially now because you were too tired to call him out on everything that made you upset.

"i don't want to argue. i'll sleep on the couch tonight. it's okay-"

he cut you off with a voice so gentle it was barely a whisper, "i'm sorry for being so mean, baby."

you sat up, resting yourself on your shoulders and forearms behind you, "what happened? why'd you shut me out?"

"after you left, everything got so stressful. nick and chris were pressuring me into editing when i wasn't feeling the best because i drained myself in calls this morning. my parents were bothering me about not being able to call them since i've been so busy with work. i was stressed out and i took it out on you," he admitted, rubbing the backs of your hands, "i regret it. i'm sorry. i should've talked it out with you instead. i promise it won't happen again."

"matthew, don't make promises you can't keep."

"i'll keep it, baby, i swear."

you sat upwards and leaned your head on his shoulder, "i forgive you. are you feeling better now?"

"i feel worse. i shouldn't have taken it out on you, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you."

"it's in the past. let it go, it's okay. i forgive you. just make sure it doesn't happen again," you reassured him.

he lifted your hands and kissed the backs of them, moving onto your wrists next. then, your shoulder that was closest to him. then, the sweet spot on your neck that made you tingly. then, your jawline. your cheeks. your nose. your forehead. lastly, he moved onto your lips and kissed it so softly that it lingered in whispers. he looked at you lovingly and apologetically, guilt still somewhat ridden in his face.

"we're okay. you're okay," you comforted, his head now on your shoulder.

he kissed your cheek, "come back to bed?"

"i'd love to."

-----

zen speaks!

i have school tomorrow but i couldn't sleep. enjoy! <3