The Land Which Bears Your Footprints

Chapter 8 - Just Know That I Tried

Despite what she said, he still can't help wondering if the Sith ever hurt her. He certainly was implying he was going to, during their fight. And for that alone, Ben's just glad he's gone.

Rey's easy enough to find. He could've tracked her down with the misery she's radiating alone, even if he didn't know where to look.

"You're back," Rey says, perking up just a little when he steps into the room of Leia's apartment that she's presently... hiding in. She's curled up in a corner by the window, though it doesn't look like she's really seeing anything outside. Considering what happened, she probably isn't.

"Yeah," he replies, approaching her slowly, but keeping his distance, uncertain if his presence is entirely welcome right now. He did help kill Sidious, after all. "And I'm fine."

"I... sensed something during the fight," she says finally, voice strained, "What... happened?"

Of course, she felt that, and he imagines that probably only made this harder. Not that that wasn't Sidious choice. "I believed he was trying to possess me."

"Possess you?" she squeaks, eyes widening.

"I don't know what else it was he would have been attempting to do," Ben replies, "But either way, he failed." He hesitates, uncertain whether he should admit that it was only their bond that kept him there and present, gave him strength to fight back against the Sith Lord. That strength was not his own. He doesn't even know what it was, or how it's possible. They were both reborn, so does that have something to do with it? Or is it something else entirely?

"And you're... fine after that?" she asks again, eyeing him.

"Like I said, he didn't get far," Ben assures. And now, he needs to address how she's feeling, but he doesn't know where to start. "What about you? I know you..."

"I don't want to talk about it," Rey supplies, which is fair. He wishes there was a way out, but there wasn't, and he certainly doesn't regret killing Sidious. It hurt Rey, though. He's not sure what that says about him.

"Have you thought about what you'll do now?" That's probably the most important concern right now, anyway.

"I don't know. I don't know how to decide that." She sounds frustrated and lost at once. Probably, this is the first time she's been allowed to make such a choice, aside from when she ran on Ossus.

"I thought you would say that." And he did, but he doesn't really know what to tell her. This has to be Rey's choice. Sidious had made all her choices for her for long enough, and she deserves to make one of her own for the first time.

She seems to consider that in silence for a while. "I... couldn't go back to Ossus, could I?"

He won't deny that his hope flares instantly at that. He wants her to come back, but he'd rather her feel comfortable about doing so first. "Of course, you can. If that's what you want."

For a few moments, she just stares at him. "You would let me?"

"Rey." He's still uncertain of her present mental state, but that caution isn't enough to stop him from reaching out to touch her shoulder. "Whatever he told you to do, you didn't do it. You don't have anywhere else to go. You never have. We're Jedi. We help people. That's what we're supposed to do."

She looks more than a little overwhelmed at the words. "I – I want to know what it's like to be a real Jedi," she says, finally, "But I don't know if I can do that. I..."

"You were raised using the Dark Side, I imagine," he replies, and she nods, "It might be harder for you to let it go, but if you really want to do it, I believe that you can. For the life you had, you're still light, Rey. Lighter than I think anyone else would be in that situation."