Help Me Heal

Chapter 18

"I'm sorry," Hank said sympathetically. "You might be able to get back to doing it in the future?"

"Working in Intelligence? Not likely. I had to choose being a cop or a dive instructor. Police work was the one of the two that paid me enough to live on, so there was no decision to make."

"Still, you never know what the future might hold."

"What about you, Hank? Do you see yourself at Intelligence for the rest of your career?"

Hank nodded. "Yeah. Don't know what else I'd do at this point. There was a time where I was discussing starting up a private detective service with a friend of mine called Alvin Olinski. He worked Intelligence. We made a great team. Unfortunately he was killed."

Kalinda glanced at him, not wanting her attention off the road for long. "I'm sorry too, Hank. We've both been through so much."

"Yes. We're still here though because we're strong. Let's focus on enjoying today instead of dwelling on the past."

That made her smile. "Yes, let's do that. Everyone knows moving house is a lot of fun."

Hank laughed, and with that their spirits were back up again.

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"And that's the job done," Hank said that evening as he walked with Kalinda back into her new apartment. It had been a long day. They had driven to Milwaukee and back twice, and in between had loaded and unloaded her possessions, all of which now sat in the living area in boxes and bags. "Do you want to make a start on unpacking? I could help you."

"God no, I've had enough for today. Thank you though," she said tiredly. There was a bottle of wine in her hand, bought locally a few minutes earlier. "Let me take your coat. What do you say I open this and we just sit and unwind?"

Hank wasn't a wine drinker, but he was aware that she wouldn't have anything else in. Anyway, sitting with her and relaxing sounded perfect. "Sure," he agreed as he handed his coat over. In turn, Kalinda passed him the bottle of wine. She hung the coats up near the door as Hank put the wine on one of the kitchen counters.

"Let me pour us a drink," she said. "Are you going to be heading home tonight, or..." Her voice trailed off, leaving the question unfinished.

Hank moved closer to her, and they embraced in a smooth, natural motion, as if they had been doing it for years. Having Kalinda in his arms just felt right to Hank. Only one other person had ever been able to make him feel that.

"That's nice," Kalinda said, immediately relaxed to the extent that her voice was barely audible.

"Mmmm," Hank breathed in agreement. They held each other for a minute or so before he pulled back a little. "Can I let your hair down?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. That look was in her eyes again. The one that he had seen in the car earlier. Not love necessarily, not yet. But something approaching love that didn't have a descriptor of its own. She was falling for him, he realised. Knowing that it was mutual made him feel very happy indeed.

"Let me see if I've mastered this yet." Reaching behind her head, he found the clip that held her hair up and removed it. He was indeed mastering the move. Her hair fell loose down past her shoulders, and instantly she looked even more alluring to him. Maybe Kalinda with her hair down was to be a treat for his eyes only, he thought. He liked that.

"Do I meet with your approval?" she asked, charming him again with her fancy use of words in her delightful accent.

"You most certainly do," he said before kissing her on the lips.

"That's good to know. I really do need a drink. Could you go into that box right there are grab a couple of glasses, please?"

Hank went to the large cardboard box she had pointed to, discovering bubble wrapped glasses and cups inside. He unpacked two wine glasses and returned to the kitchen with them. By then, Kalinda had the bottle of wine opened and ready to go. She poured for them both and gave him one of the glasses.

"Join me on the couch, Hank."

They went over to the couch. Hank sat down, then Kalinda joined him, cuddling up to him. He decided to put an arm round her. Sitting like that, he felt relaxed and content.

They made small talk for a while, about nothing in particular, simply enjoying being in each other's company. Hank mentioning Erin's name drew a question from a Kalinda.

"Would you mind telling me more about her? I mean, what's her story? All I know is you fostered her."

Hank proceeded to tell her everything about Erin's childhood: her troubled teenage years, her struggles with addiction, her failed relationships, her bad career choices. He was aware that Erin would likely not be happy if she knew what he had done, but he trusted Kalinda. Plus the best way to build a strong relationship was by being honest with your partner. He and Kalinda were together now, which meant she would be seeing a lot of Erin. Knowing more about her could only be a good thing.

"Bloody hell, Hank," Kalinda said when he was done. "You and I have had our difficulties. Erin's had it just as bad. One thing you didn't mention in her story was your wife passing. That must have been a big loss for Erin too. Her foster mother, I mean. Were they close?"

"Yes. She was closer to Camille than to me," Hank admitted quietly. Inside, he was feeling deeply guilty. It had only now dawned on him that when Camille had died he had been so consumed by the loss himself that he had barely even considered how it had affected Erin, let alone putting effort into being there for her. He had been extremely selfish, he now realised, and had badly let Erin down.

"I'm sorry. I've upset you," Kalinda said. "Would you prefer if I didn't talk about Camille again? I totally understand if that's how you feel."

Hank kissed her on the forehead, reassuring her. "That's not it. I was thinking that I could have done more for Erin. Not only in that situation either. Being a foster father is hard. Honestly, I've not made a particularly good job of it."

"Don't be hard on yourself. And please don't be upset, not tonight. Why don't we go to bed?"

That sounded good to Hank. Without saying anything, he put his now empty wine glass on the table and got up.

A few minutes later, they were in bed, lying facing each other, Hank with an arm around Kalinda. After a few moments she reciprocated. This was their second time sharing a bed. It was a lot different to the first. Then it had been about sex – two people who hadn't made love for some time finally finding passion again. Now it was much deeper. Now it was two people who were falling for each other quickly, and new it, finding warmth and comfort in their lover's arms.

"I never thought I'd have this again, Hank. Feeling wanted by someone. Feeling cared about in only the way a partner can make you feel."

"You're very much wanted. You're very much cared about," he assured her.

"So are you."

With that, they started kissing. It was time to bring the day to a close in the perfect way.

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A/N: Happy new year everybody! Best wishes for 2024.

Hank opened up to Kalinda about Erin, and in the process realised that he could have been a better father to her. Will that realisation change their relationship moving forward?