The Love You Want (sleep token fic - Polyvessels)

II: Part Three

In turn, Vessel slowly begins seeking him out when he desperately wants to sleep but is physically unable to, and II lets the other man lay beside him, Vessel's arm pressed against his or his back. Sometimes, Vessel dares to rest his own head on II's thigh, mirroring a position becoming so familiar between them, letting II's calloused fingers card through his hair with such care that Vessel often can't hold the tears at bay.

II has grown used to Vessel appearing out of nowhere, the other man's footsteps and breaths silent, like a ghost wandering the halls. When II is caught particularly unawares on bad days, Vessel appearing will make him jump a foot in the air, and II will spend the next ten minutes reassuring Vessel he did nothing wrong when the man shrinks into himself, arms held close to his chest, gaze low and avoiding, bond slowly closing in on itself.

Some days, Vessel can't bring himself to speak. In the beginning, it was easier. II was sick, and then Vessel was sick, and things were in this weird limbo state of just making sure each other got better. It was easier to speak past the lump in his throat. Then things settled, and they had to learn to truly live around each other. Learning each others tells, what the little changes in expression mean, how best to approach each other on days their moods are bordering on detrimental to their health.

II was the one that made any and all meals. Vessel couldn't cook anything edible even if eating was a daily requirement and so dishes were left to Vessel at the end of mealtimes. II learns with time just where to and not to touch Vessel, and that sometimes, just brushing against the man is enough to shut him down on his worst days. At his worst, on days he can't speak through the weight in his chest that smothers his voice, Vessel needs to initiate contact but only if II assures him time and time again that its alright.

Vessel learns that II is afraid of spiders one morning as Vessel sits on his bed with his lyric journal in hand where II has just left to make himself some tea. A spike of fear travels along the bond right before a choked scream sounds through the manor. Vessel is on his feet and taking the stairs three steps at a time in an instant, shouting for II, desperate, the loudest he's ever spoken. There is a few tense seconds of silence and continued fear from the bond before Vessel hears II call out weakly from the kitchen.

Long strides get him there quickly, and Vessel finds II perched precariously on the island counter, pale and shaking as he points at something on the stove. Three pairs of eyes move separately to try and track what II is seeing and the bottom pair focuses on a small spider to the right of the stove. Its a tiny thing, barely the size of a quarter, and missing a leg. It stared with beady little eyes as Vessel's top pair moves to keep an eye on II's general direction. "I'm going to take it outside. I'll be right back." Vessel says, voice back to being just below talking volume.

He moves forward to pick it up with his bare hands, recognizing that it couldn't do any more harm than bite him. II whimpers, his fear abating only slightly, as Vessel walks past the counter to take the spider out front, releasing it into the foliage.

II clinged to his arm once he got back inside, face buried in the bunched up hood at his collar as Vessel held him as close as he dared. The embarrassed pout II wore was heaven-sent as he mumbled about being sorry and that he's always been afraid of spiders was worth the initial terror that he was hurt. After that, Vessel was the one designated to remove all bugs from the premises to spare II's poor heart.

Vessel's constant anxiety reared its ugly head and Vessel couldn't bring himself to make any noise some days, caught in his past like a fly in a web. He'd move through the house like a ghost, and II learned quickly to figure out what Vessel was trying to say through the vague feelings, almost thoughts, he sent purposefully down the bond.

As winter drew nearer, it became apparent during a week long bout of rain that the house needed more fixing up than they thought. Holes in the roof dripped water into the attic that dropped further drown into other parts of the house.