Author; sparklet11
Title:
From the title, I can easily guess there will be swap of identity or of life occupation. After reading the blurb I think this title is okay.
Cover:
The cover shows two ristiy girls with one standing bold and under the projector showing she's some kind of celebrity and the other girl just being simply dressed under gardenlight. The cover idea is okay but I will love it to be less drawing and more like actual people or silhouette. And I will like the tity to be boldly written for it to catch the eye with the writer's name too cuz it's important against piracy.
Blurb:
Your blurb is somehow how narrow but for the first time I think it's good in that manner. You transport us into another dimension, but don't give too much glimpse into it. In some stories, and with the way we use words, staying mysterious is hugely benefical to spark the readers interest.
Plot:
From the first three paragraph, you bombard us into Vivian's world. You don't only show us the bling-bling of it, but the hardness it brings and as a reader, this is the type of introduction we want to see in a story. We readers are tired of the all time perfect stories. We want to see characters that looks more like us. With issues, with trouble, with challenges that will make us impregnat ourselves to their story. Vivian breaks the wall of a perfect portagonist by talking about her lack of talent and how the title of a billionaire's dollar made her popular and how fake her relationship with Adrian is.
Then you introduce us to Jolin. The greatest fan of vivian, who dispises her mother and how a comment has probably changed her life thereby linking the plot go the description you gave us. Generally, you're description and writing style is good with minimal errors and punctuation just at the right places. You bring us the aspect of cliche and I see you have a clear understanding of it which is good. It makes me aware that you know where to put cliche scenes and where not to place it and it's good. And you ended the chapter with a little bit of suspense which is good. However, after completing your story I went back to see your tags and they had no relationship with your plot. Please review them and link them with what will be in the story. Take note that they're the tags that makes a story have more reads.
With that said, I don't really think I have any bad critics on your story. Hope you will continue writing in that manner and never give up.
