Haven't I Given Enough

it's all about the learnings...

       Here goes the Last chapter....

Virat takes a long deep breath closing his eyes, he can feel the cold night breeze stroking his revealing skin leaving behind mild goosebumps.
His body still aching from the extra gym hours he has pulled a while ago to vent his frustration, guilt and disappointment. He will need caffeine if he wants to even walk back to his room, too bad he has already taken his daily dose and neither he has the energy left to go and make himself a coffee.

There's so much going inside him , the inner turmoil is eating him up with the self guilt. He knows it's not like he could have got things out of a very determined Rohit's mind but the nagging voice in his head is continuously singing that 'you didn't even try enough'.

In all of this going on he felt another presence sitting beside while nudging him, he doesn't need to open his eyes to guess who it is , there's only one person allowed to be with vi in a late night terrace talk with a coffee. He opens his eyes to see Rohit hands stretched offering him a coffee cup

"It's not black"
Virat said without any humor

"You've been bitter enough for whole day"
Ro replied in a most Rohit like answer.

"Felt pity enough to talk to me "
Rohit nose scrunch hearing curt words of virat.

"Nahh , got bored by laying around like dead "
Rohit tried to humour

"Not funny ro!"

"Nothing has been fun since days now vi, but we're still here surviving, aren't we?"

Virat was silent, he did not questioned him about everything or nor did he tried to continue the conversation. Rohit can hear the turning wheels of overthinking in virat mind, so he continues the conversation all alone

"You know vi, I know the feeling when you're not present in your best friend worst days ....... And the guilt that brings it to you is nothing one can imagine "

"Then why did you do it to me?"

"Honestly, I don't know.... maybe bcuz I thought I don't deserve any help in the first place or may be bcuz there was a nagging voice that I don't deserve your comfort if I couldn't do the same to you when you needed it ....I don't know vi, but trust me ...me not telling you is just me being a coward .....
          all I'm saying is you can feel bitter about it!  not my words,mahi bhai said it to me........
       and now that I think about it as much as we're rohit sharma and virat kohli.... Indian cricketers...., we're also our own person,..... a person who's allowed to have a personal feeling about everything... whether it's about feeling bad for not being there for your friend ......or a feeling similar to betrayal cause you expected better,"

Rohit felt a lump in his throat completing the last sentence, it's still hard for him to accept that yes he is allowed to feel that

Virat heaves a sigh at what sounded like an explanation from Rohit, it's not that he was angry with Rohit in the first place, he was angry with himself for not doing enough, rohit did manage to  releive him from that guilt

"You're not a coward, just a dumbhead "

They both chuckled

"I heard how you behaved with them , vi! Itna pyar mujhse!!! Giving tough competition to ritsy I see!!!"

Rohit Wiggles his eyebrows in a corny way

Virat face went red at the mention of event, now that he wasn't in anger he is feeling shy specially when Rohit is narrating like that , but he brace himself and gives a nonchalant expression

"Fuck off , I'm still pissed at how they behaved"

"They're kids vi , they'll learn with time"

"They can't be a kid forever ro , what if some outsiders get this news, there's already too much news going around us"