Do You Get Deja Vu Too?

𝟬𝟴. 𝗜𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗜𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲?

" What the fuck do you want Leo? "I asked sternly.

" No, I don't want anything, but Harry wants you. "

" Don't listen to him, Isabel, he's just being a asshole right now. "

" Bullshit Harry, we all know you want to make out with her. " Leo had his fucking fun, mocking Harry with kissy faces and shoved Harry right into me, to the point where our lips nearly intertwined. Some of the crowd gasped, others laughed. Leo must've hypnotized Harry because at that very moment, it really did seem like Harry wanted to kiss me.

He gazed at me the exact same way I did the first day that I saw him riding his skateboard. He's never looked at me like that before. Ironically, instead of gazing back, I returned a look of fear and unsureness. With all eyes on us, I felt extremely flustered by all this attention and immediately pulled away before anything else occurred.

I madly rush out the living room and run upstairs, in hopes no one would be foolish enough to follow me. It may be absurd to hide away in a home that's not even yours, but I much rather come off as a psycho than kiss my best friend, who I formerly had feelings for, in a crowded room full of people I barely know. I absolutely refuse to do so!

I could hear 'Attention' by Charlie Puth playing in the mere distance. What a convenient time to play that bop, it seems as I may have come off as an attention seeker myself.

By the time footsteps approached me, 'Slow Hands' by Niall Horan had already blared through out the entire house, followed by his other hits 'On The Loose' and 'Too Much To Ask'. Even the fan favorite 'This Town' was played as well. Ironically I'm literally on the loose in this town of frantic peers, as it seems solo time without seeming like a creep is too much to ask.

Coincidentally, 'There's Nothing Holding Me Back' by Shawn Mendes started playing the second none other than Harry approached me with the most calmest look plastered across. Staying true to the lyrics, I guess Harry really wanted to find out where I go. Shouldn't he be offended that I refused to kiss him? I humiliated him in front of all his friends, yet he sure doesn't look pissed but instead... content?

The music may have continued to play, but between Harry and I, a moment of silence was initially displayed. I couldn't bear to face him this time, I'm unsure of how to feel after all that's occurred.

Harry broke the silence and spoke up" If you want to leave, there's no body stopping you. "

Lacking any eye contact, I frantically replied " I'm really sorry, but I just couldn't. It wouldn't feel right like that. "

" Don't worry Iz, I understand. I'm the one that should be sorry that my friends would pull a shit stunt like that. I swear it won't happen again. " Harry said with the most apologetic gaze that was quite.... hypnotizing? Why does he have to be so goddamn dreamy? Not that I like Harry anymore, cause I don't. Can't a girl admire one's wondrous eyes? I could never lack eye contact for too long when it came to Harry. That's nearly impossible to successfully accomplish!

" I don't think you do understand though. " I lightly chuckled, as my mind flashed back to the first time I caught a glimpse of Harry and how it felt like love at first sight. " You never would, and trust me, you wouldn't want to. "

" Maybe I wouldn't understand, but I fully support you. You're my best friend after all. "

Wait, support what? Social anxiety? Alright then? I have a feeling Harry and I aren't on the same page like I presumed we were. " Say, what do you mean by support? I swear, I'm really trying hard to come out of my comfort zone but I'm not really ready for that. And like you said, you're my best friend. "

" Take your time to come out, it's okay to be gay "

As stunned as I am, I nearly choked on my own saliva after hearing Harry say that. Wait a minute, is that why I never appealed romantically to Harry before today? Cause he thinks I'm gay? Well, fuck bisexual erasure I guess. Even my very own best friend doesn't comprehend who I really am and that sucks more than you'll ever know it does.

" Harry, now I know for sure that you clearly don't understand. My own fucking best friend doesn't know me well enough and believes in bullshit rumors? What the hell? " I blabbered on and on in fury. " Yes, it's okay to be gay and I support that as well, but I myself aren't gay "

Confusion spread across the dumbfounded boy's face." But you liked Ashley and she's a girl? "

" I'm not denying that I like girls, cause I do like girls, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that I like guys as well. I'm bisexual you idiot!"

Harry soon found himself struck speechless. Ofcourse what else was I expecting? No 7th graders are ever truly exposed to the knowledge of other sexualities besides gay and straight. We're taught to see through the monosexual default- the same lenses I only recently blurred away from. What about those who aren't gay or straight? Are the outliers such as bi, pan, omni, abro etc. supposed to feel secluded all the damn time?

Are we bisexuals supposed to feel like we're too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight? Having had a brief crush on Harry doesn't make me straight, and crushing on Ashley doesn't make me gay. Bisexuality really isn't as complicated or absurd as everyone makes it seem. When will this bi erasure stop? Just every other LGBQT+ erasure in general?

" Iz, please forgive me for assuming, I really didn't mean to, and in a strange way I'm really glad you told me you're bi. " ( A/N: foreshadowing? Nah, not at all )

" Sorry for not kissing you " I mumbled softly to myself, hoping Harry wouldn't hear me... except he did. It was obvious by the way his eyes lit up right after that convinced me he heard my words all too well.

" Well you still could've if you really wanted to. " He paused, deliberately intensifying the dramatic tone of his we're just friends of course voice. " But you don't. "

" I would've, but I was not about to have my first kiss in a room full of your idiotic friends and strangers. "

Harry slyly looked across the empty staircase and whispered. " Looks like it's just us two. "

I could feel my heart pound faster than its ever beaten and soon after nerves struck in. I caught myself in a lovestruck haze and shortly daydreamed of how it would feel like to kiss Harry, I seemed to desire it at that very moment. It seemed like he desired to kiss me as well.

I could hear 'Delicate' by Taylor Swift playing from afar, but loud enough for the lyrics to audibly speak to my heart. Looking at Harry's eyes right now, I pretend that he's mine and proceed to lean in closer. He did the exact same until our lips touched delicately for the very first time.

It's been a long, chaotic night, but Harry's hands running though my hair made all the earlier embarrassment worth it. My reputations never been worse, but Harry seems to like me for me. We were both hesitant to pull away until echoes of someone's footsteps on the stairs rummaged up towards the 3rd floor of just him and I.

" So this is where you two are hiding? " Ash hollered, completely unaware of the fact that Harry?? Just?? Kissed?? Me?? Technically I encouraged it and well, I liked it. I loved it.

A/N: Omg, I'm sorry that it's been a while since I last updated! It was just really tense in my household these past two weeks so I went on a writing hiatus and primarily focused on just interacting with my wp besties with the time I had online. I'm gonna start writing the next chapter asap and hopefully publish it next week or so! Hmm, I wonder what happens next though 🤔 Jk, I know cause I'm the author 🙃 Have a wonderful Women's History Month!! 

Word Count: 2131