The City Of Death

Chapter Twenty-Seven- Macy

"Skye, I'm so, so sorry..." he cries, and I pause. I already knew I wouldn't tell him I wasn't Skye. But this gives me pause. Looking like her is one thing. But acting like I'm Skye? That makes me feel all sorts of strange, especially with how close Skye and Atlas were. But as I look down at him, crying into my hand, thinking I'm my sister, I can't ignore it. I can't ignore the way my heart twinges at his plight, and I can't just sit here and not at least try to comfort him. I clear my throat, trying to adjust my voice. If I remember correctly, Skye's was a little higher than mine. 

"What could you possibly have to be sorry for, Atlas?" I ask. In all reality, I know exactly what he thinks he has to be sorry for. But Skye might not know that. And, to be honest, this might be the thing that Atlas needs. A way to confess all of his sins to the person he thinks he committed those sins against. A way for him to get rid of that weight on his shoulders forever. If pretending to be Skye for a few minutes can provide him with that, then that's a very small price to pay. 

"I let you die." 

"You didn't let me do anything. Every choice I made that night was my own, Atlas, and I would do it again. I was prepared to do anything to get the Renegades out of the City, you know that. I did what I had to do as the leader," I tell him. I'm surprised how easily the words roll off my tongue. I don't even have to think about them- they're just coming to me. I'm even more surprised at how well I play Skye. Everything I said sounds like her. 

"If I hadn't run... maybe you'd still be alive..."

"Don't do that to yourself. You ran because I told you to. You were just following the orders of your leader. Do I regret the way that night ended? Yes. I regret that I wasn't there to help guide you as you took on your new role. I regret that we didn't get the life together that we imagined, and I regret that I wasn't there to see Macy grow up. But just because I regret those things, it doesn't mean I'd take any of it back. I did what I had to do that night, as did you," I respond, but when I mention myself, Atlas starts to tear up again. 

"Macy... I'm so sorry, Skye, I promised to keep her safe, and I couldn't. You handed her to me and made me promise to never let her go back to the City, and I broke that promise. She grew up in the City, Skye. I broke my promise," he admits, and I sigh, stroking his cheek with my thumb. 

"Just because something came to be doesn't mean you let it happen. When the Vultures came to get Macy, did you fight for her? Or did you hand her over?" 

"Of course I fought for her! But... all seven of them were there... and I couldn't hold them off." 

"Then you didn't let shit happen. You fought against it. What happened after that was out of your control. In my eyes, you didn't break your promise. And besides," I start, placing a hand on his other cheek, completely cupping his face. He looks up at me, but his eyes are still unfocused, and I can tell that he still thinks I'm Skye. "It was unfair of me to ask so much of you. You were so young, Atlas. I should have known the Vultures would come after Macy. She was my sister, after all. It was unfair of me, and I'm sorry for that. You were too young to have all of that on your shoulders, and I'm sorry it came to be that way." 

"I was the same age you were when you became the leader," he points out, and I sigh. 

"I know that. But the difference between you and me is that Macy was my responsibility before I became the leader. I already knew how to take care of her, and I was used to doing so. I didn't have to learn two roles at once, I just had to learn to juggle them. It wasn't the same for you. You had to learn how to be the leader of the Renegades and learn how to care for Macy at the same time, and I'm sorry I put you through that. I'm sorry I've caused you so much guilt," I say, stroking his cheeks. "You can let it all go now, Atlas."