FORGET ME (not) ⭑ Finnick Odair

chapter 2

You go up stage as the reality of the situation sits hard on your shoulders. On the one hand you know that you are going there to die sooner or later, but on the other you don't want to do it quietly. You You don't want to die at all. You don't see yourself as a victim to be feasted upon. Next to you comes a boy, just around your age but you don't pay much attention to him. You try to find your family in the back - you see crying Stella and mom holding her hand next to her mouth as to suppress a scream. Elena is looking at you with burning eyes that express disgust. She is not looking at you, you realize, but the escort. You look back at them scrunching your brows. There is no way you are going to die. You have plans and you are going to fulfill them by not being dead. You clench your fists and look proudly into the camera. You need to come up with a strategy and you need to start thinking about it as fast as possible, there is no time left to waste as you know some people from 1,2 and 4 could have been training all their lives up until this moment. You try to hold yourself together, not show any weakness. You nearly miss Diana in the crowd. You see her even more angry than you, she is clearly fighting something inside of her. You see that look inside of her eyes when she tries to come in front of the stage. People are too paralyzed to do anything or stop her, they cannot guess her intentions. Neither do you, until you see a brewing storm inside her [e/c] eyes. She opens her mouth to speak, "oh God" you think as you realize. She wants to volounteer as a tribute, but she is already too old. You can see it in her face, as she realizes but it doesn't stop her from getting closer to you. She is only stopped by the peacekeepers and dragged back by them as she repeats your name "[Y/n], [Y/n]", you can hear the emotional distress she is in in her voice. In that moment you realize the fundamental truth, no matter how many fights you are in, how many times you fall off with one another and how much do you seem to think that you hate her, she is the closest person to you. She is your mirror and you will be hers. She loves you in her own crazy way and she would give up everything to save you. She is the last person to believe in Panem as a society or structure, but there she is willingly wanting to go and being made example of just for you. She can't and you know that she will be furious with it until the end of her life. At that realization you want to cry.

Thank God, you are all taken inside the building after your sister made a scene, as not to create any unnecessary chaos. The escort looks at you with disapproval. What can you say, your sister stole the show. Next to her stands a man in his mid-forties smiling at you kindly and a woman who seems to be absent. "You created a little bit of chaos, haven't you?" You see playful look in his eyes. He seems to be enjoying the show as it is something unusual. It angers you as your own suffering can be considered to be a form of entertainment.

Your family comes after a while. Stella, as expressive as she is throws herself at you to hug you. Only then you allow yourself to cry. You don't believe that you will come back, even though you tried to make yourself believe that at first. In the back stands mom and Elena. There is no sight of Diana. You learn from your mother that she was taken to be questioned by the peacemakers for her outburst. You want to believe that she will be okay. As time passes by and mom holds your hand she seems to be in more and more rush. "You will come back," she says with confidence, "you will outsmart them", "you will kill the rats from career districts," she spits out "it won't be a slaughterhouse for them this year, "her voice is full of venom as she speaks. "Show them that they cannot target kids from 3 anymore like they always do." She kisses your forehead. "I just want my daughter safe." She cries out of sorrow. You know that you are never safe here, as Stella has to sell herself and Diana was probably beaten because of her outburst. You are never safe and never will be. You can only be alive and survive. You, your mother and Stella hold hands as Elena stands in the back. She fumbles with her hands not knowing what to do. She whispers "I will miss you." This makes you conflicted about what does she mean, as she always seem to know everything. Does she mean that she will miss you when you don't come back, or she will miss you when you are gone for a month to the Capital to play their game? You genuinely don't understand.

The idyllic scene stops when Beetee opens the door. "You need to come up with an explanation," he says "why your sister did what she did," he adds. "They will treat her like a rebel the other way," his eyes grow darker "and she is not a one." You nod. Elena, looking straight into his eyes spits out "Diana, she always wanted to take part in the Games. She is furious now that [Y/n] goes instead of her." You look at her. Damn, she thinks fast. "It's just family dynamics" you add on. Beetee looks at you both and smiles. Then he leaves. It's the small things that matter, and you start to like him a little bit more now. The Hunger Games, and everything you do there are not just games but politics. Might as well do a show as you go down.

Next thing you know, you are in the train. Is it the same that took your father to work? You wonder. It is very luxurious and you can see that the boy, Xavier, as you learned his name some time before has never seen anything like this before. In the dining car that is also a lounge area at the same time you spot all kinds of sweets your father used to gift you when he was coming back from the Capital. You start eating the lemon macaroon and Xavier follows shortly after. Giving you all this food resembles fattening up a piglet before it meets it's fate but at this moment you don't care about convention.

"Listen here, last years we haven't had any success in bringing alive tributes home." Beetee starts with a shaking voice, as the memories must be painful for him. "As you can see Wires is not suitable for this job anymore, because of the distress it caused her". You glance at the middle aged woman that is standing in the corner and looking through the window. She seems to have acknowledged your presence, but is very shy for some reason. Maybe she will open up in the future. "I would rather be doing something else than mentoring you two but there is no other choice. When we are at it we should get the most out of it." His will to fight is admirable, maybe he hasn't given up on you two as yet. "Is there any particular skill you have mastered?" He asks with genuine interest in his voice. "I can create weapons and I have good aim, I guess I can throw knifes" Xavier says proudly. "I have been working in the fabric for some years now." With that statement you think you have already lost. There is nothing you can say to beat that, and you can't afford Beetee to have a favorite already. You have to come up with a skill that cannot be easily checked but can be valuable in the area. "My dad trained me and my sister for the games just in case before he died," you swallow and decide to lie "I would combat train with her and I would win every single time. We were using toy knifes but I guess I wouldn't be bad with the real thing." Both of them don't seem impressed at that. You start to panic, you know that you have to win them over right now - Beetee to send you things when you are in the area and Xavier to consider an alliance with you. "I was also training to be a doctor, I don't know if this is of any help." This is a full lie and you know it, but anything to win or not die at the first day. Now you see that they look at you differently. "Diana was stabbed once, because as you could see she is quiet a troublemaker," you must think fast and speak ever faster. "My mom thought the wound was fatal but she survived the crucial hours before the doctor could came." After a brief pause Beetee asks "do you want to train together or separate?"

You can feel Wiress staring at you and you don't like it. Someone has already seen through you. You feel like nothing but a dirty little liar.