Selfish Love

Chapter 26

"Is that it? You're just gonna ignore it and then make things awkward for both of us"? He asked and I just looked at him, I really looked at him.

"So I'm the one making things awkward for both of us now? You should have thought of that before having sex with me, if you knew you wouldn't be able to ignore it, you shouldn't have had sex with me" I spit at him.

"Judy don't do this, don't make this any harder for us, why don't you wanna talk about it"? He asked in a whisper and I sighed out facing him.

"What do you want me to say Andre? That it was a mistake? That it was nice? That I regret it? What do you want me to say"?!! I yell and he stumbles back, I see the regret in his eyes, he swallowed hard and looked away

"I'm going home Andre" I whispered before walking away from him and headed to my dorm room.

I didn't mean to snap at him like that but it was all just so overwhelming.
I don't know what he wants me to say, I don't want to talk about it with him and I definitely don't mean to make it all weird between us.

He's my best friend and I honestly kind of regret having sex with him because as much as I try to ignore it, it's definitely making our friendship awkward.

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I was throwing the baseball up and down while laying on the bed, my mind was in so many different places at the same time

I had to literally run out of class and back to my dorm room because I didn't want to hang out with my friends, Andre especially.

Jordan still hasn't talked to me either, he's always with his boyfriend these days, I'm not surprised.

It's like we're all in one dip shit or another, none of us has it easy these days, I can tell Sam's still a bit torn between telling Adrianna how he feels or just letting it go.

And Adrianna is still having silent awkward moments with Kayla.
Andre has Abby to deal with coupled with the whole marriage thing between us and I have Jordan to think of and maybe Andre too.

It's just all so messed up.
Both my hands are lodged behind my head and the ball keeps going up and down, from my chest area up to the ceiling and back.

Yes I'm using my powers, it's not just mind control, sometimes not everytime though I can make things move with my mind.

There's a knock on the door and it quickly breaks my focus making the ball fall down and hit my forehead, ouch that hurts

I get up rubbing the place before going to open the door, I open it and it's Adrianna standing there.

"I knew I'd find you here" she said walking inside without waiting for me to invite her in
"You weren't at our usual spot and Andre said the last place he saw you was in class, so I figured you'd be here since you've been avoiding us all lately" she said before sitting down on the bed.

I just sigh out and close the door before picking up the ball and sitting close to her, I try to focus again and move the ball with my mind but I can't, I just huff out and throw it on the bed.

"Why are you home"? She asked looking at me and I just shrug
"Don't give me that Judy, why aren't you with the others"? She asked again and I sigh out.

"Nothing Adrianna, I just wanted to be alone" I muttered, she put her hand on my shoulder

"What's really going on Judy? You've been avoiding us all for the past few days now, I don't know about the others but I'm not okay with it, you're my friend and I don't like this distance between us even though I know I'm mostly responsible for it, but please Judy, don't shut me out, I miss you" she whispered the last part and I turned to look at her, she had the most sincere look I've ever seen in her eyes.

I miss her too and I have no reason to avoid her but I do, and I don't even know why.
Asides Andre, she'd the second I'm closest to among my friends.

But these few days we've suddenly grown apart and it's really bothering me.
Looking at her I suddenly wish I'd told her about Jordan before the whole thing escalated to this point.

Now I don't think I can even tell her about it anymore.
I am a really bad friend
Making my friends suffer for my horrible choices.

I chose to have sex with Andre and avoid him the morning after, but I'm making my friends suffer for it, even Andre.

He doesn't deserve the way I'm treating him, even though it's both our faults, but he's ready to talk about it, I'm the one running away from talking about it.

"You're the only one I have Judy, and there's a lot going on that I wanna tell you but just please don't shut me out" she whispered

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