LF Friends, Will Travel

Santa is a Deathworlder

I looked on in horror, I looked on in dismay.

"That seems highly dangerous" I started to say

"That once was a weapon, but now for a kid?

You can't hand that out, I absolutely forbid!"

"Just be careful, it's fun!" he simply did cry

"In the past, only a few unlucky children have died!

Besides weapons are fun!" Steven practically sang

"I've got bundles of yo-yo's and a boomerang!"

"No weapons!" I said, with the sternest of face.

"You can't endanger children, no matter your case!"

"Here's a chemistry set, educational and placid"

"That contains uranium, and five forms of acid!"

Steven gave a shake of his head, with a little dismay

Looking for something safe with which children can play.

"What about this" he replied "It's just simply a sled!"

"The jet engine's obvious, they'll all end up dead!

Have you brought anything safe, that won't end in tears?"

"This is what I played with in my formative years!"

This was somehow expected, this somehow made sense.

How Steven grew up to be quite this dense.

But before I could argue, with this stupid matter

A new sound from a distance, a jingling clatter.

A new figure approaches, an Eltari it seems

A giant spider ripped straight from bad dreams.

His six legs gave a click and a clack as he moved

Nothing about this new person did soothe.

Jacket it wore, the marks on this stranger

Suggested a scummy despicable danger.

In its left hand was a gun, being pointed our way

With a vile clicking voice, it started to say.

"I hear you're a good guy, a hero a saint

Providing free charity to children, so lovely, so quaint.

I need a donation, for my own endeavour

Hand over the stuff, and no being clever.

Hand over the items, please make it curt

Listen to what I say and nobody gets hurt."

The room had gone quiet, nobody made a sound.

All eyes staring at this new danger to be found.

The Terran gave a grumble, the Terran gave a squeak.

In an angry tone, Steven started to speak.

"How dare you bring violence, you ignorant thug,

Someone should teach you a lesson, in your dumb spider mug

You're being absolutely naughty, you're not being nice!"

Then the stranger fired his gun, not once but simply twice.

—-------------

The pirate had made many mistakes in this life to get to the position they were now in, but shooting at the Terran had been the worst one by far. The only sound that could be heard in the core of the station was the harsh wet sound of the Terran's fist slamming into the arachnid's body, the exoskeleton was like wet cardboard in a hailstorm as it failed to deflect Steven's constant flurry of blows raining down upon him

Perhaps such thuds could be used as a beat for a rhyming stanza, if the sickening change of pace from what had once been a happy upbeat event didn't make one shocked at just how much damage an angry Terran could accomplish.

The shouts and screams had stopped for some time, to be replaced with a mild whimpering as Steven stood above the pirate, teeth bared in anger and rage as he continued to pummel down blow after blow upon the unfortunate Eltari. Blue blood now joined the red and white of his Santa costume as the beatdown continued.

"You. Could. Have. Hurt. The. Children. You. Fuck!"

Each word was accompanied by a blow, a rage at the audacity of someone to try and steal from kids, and then to shoot in their direction. Steven couldn't even feel the wound in his shoulder where one of the two shots had clipped him, the rage of the situation fueling him on.

"Steven, I think he's done now, you can chill."

I stated this quietly, causing the Terran to look up in our direction, covered in the pirate's blood as he stared back at the many pairs of tiny eyes, all terrified; watching him as he dispensed some find-out in response to the thug's fuck around. With a sigh he began dragging the now not-resisting arachnid body around the corner out of sight, leaving a trail of blood behind.

"You are so lucky there are children here, the station's security can deal with you now."

—---------------

With a skip and a jump, Steven did reappear.

A forced smile on his face, showing no fear

"The bad man is gone, he'll be off to jail

St Nick will protect you, I never will fail."

Even with his injury, Steven seemed ever so sure

Though the calming effect was countered by gore.

"I must leave you for now, but a lesson to learn

Never to crime and to evil do turn,

How you wish to be treated, how you treat each other.

Remain well-behaved for your father, your mother.

If you have good in your heart, and always act kind,

Protectors in Terrans you always will find.

Never be naughty, always be nice,

Always be good children, don't make me ask twice.

As I leave for this winter, the paramedics are near.

Have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year."