30 Years Can Go By (Sequel to 60 Ways-ParentLock-BBC Sherlock)

Chapter Four

There was silence for a moment. Then Hamish asked, "When did you start loving him?"

This was something that I had never even asked John before.

John looked over at me and I realized. If John answered Hamish's question, we would have to tell him about me faking my death. I nodded. Hamish would learn it eventually anyway.

"Hamish, there was a time when I thought I had lost Daddy. As you're aware, Daddy is a very famous detective. But not all fame is positive. There was a man, a very bad man who wanted Daddy gone. So he made Daddy jump off of a building."

"A building!" Hamish's eyes grew wide, and he stared at me in amazement.

"Yeah," John smiled weakly, " So Daddy jumped and I thought he had died. But Aunt Molly helped him. She taught him a few tricks and Daddy survived. But nobody told me that. In first week that Daddy was gone, I realized that the reason I felt so close to death was because I loved him. And losing someone you love is like dying."

I looked at John for a moment. He got a shocked look on his face. "Sherlock, you haven't cried in years," he said. I reached up to my face and realized that John was right. My cheeks were wet with tears and I hadn't even realized I had been crying. This all went over Hamish's head.

"How did you survive?" Hamish looked up at me like I was a god.

"That's a discussion for another day," I told him. "I can't have you trying to jump off of rooftops."

Hamish looked disappointed, but knew not to ask again. Instead he said, "Why did you come back?"

It was my turn to talk now.

"I was supposed to be buried in a graveyard. There was nowhere else for me to be, so I hung around the site. Luckily for me, Papa kept me company every day. He always brought me yellow roses, the color for friendship. But I could tell that he loved me and I couldn't stand that he wouldn't say it. Then one day he showed up, as always. But this time he had a red Rose and I remember this is what he said, 'So, you might be wondering, what's with the red rose? Well, for a really long time while you were alive, I didn't know how I was feeling. I knew we were friends, best friends even, but I never thought about the possibility of anything else, in fact I always denied any mention of us being together. But once were you gone, I had a lot of time to think. And I do mean a lot. I realized that the reason I had been so confused was because I hadn't considered the truth. So why red, Sherlock? Red roses...they're for love."

"So you came back because Papa admitted he loved you," Hamish checked. I nodded.

I looked over at John, who I could tell was astonished that I remembered his exact words. Hamish interrupted our eye-exchanged again.

"Daddy, why didn't you come out earlier if you could see how much pain Papa was in?"

For once, I didn't have an answer.

John had one though, "Daddy was afraid that he was wrong, that I didn't live him as much as he loved me."

"Ok, so Daddy, when did you realize you loved Papa?" Hamish followed up.

"I think I had known all along, but when I realized that I wanted him to be with me forever...We had gone to a place called Baskerville for a case and I saw something that I didn't believe. I thought I was going insane. Papa tried to help me, but I just yelled at him. I said something that made him upset and he stopped talking to me for nearly a whole day. I felt like it was the worst mistake I had ever made. I was afraid that when we got back to London he wouldn't want to be my flatmate anymore and that he wouldn't want to see me. And I realize I was beating myself up for letting him walk away because I couldn't bare the thought of him being gone," I said to Hamish, but I was telling John.

"I know that Papa almost lost you, but I remember a few years back you had a case. You said that I was too young to help, that it was too dangerous, and that Papa had come close to dying too," Hamish had too good a memory," Why did you almost die, Papa?"

John looked down. "The bad man that tried to kill Daddy died the day Daddy jumped off of the building, but he had a friend that wasn't very happy about it. He wanted revenge, so he also tried to kill Daddy. He was going to shoot him. Daddy didn't know I was in the room, so when the man tried to shoot Daddy, I jumped in front of him and I got shot instead," John explained.

"What happened to the man?" Hamish looked worried.

"Don't worry, Hamish, Daddy took care of him," John chuckled morbidly.

"See, Daddy, I told you that you were a hero," Hamish laughed.

"How can you possibly remember that?" I said, astounded.

"I dunno," Hamish shrugged. "Can we play Cluedo?"

I looked over at John. The last time I had been allowed to play Cluedo was before Baskerville.

"I think we can make an exception," John whispered.

We had the first family game night that I had ever participated in.