Open Book Review

Let's Date Again

Title:

Simple and clear. With this we can easily guess that the story is a romantic one.

Cover:

This cover fits the story. But I think you can find a better one with maybe two silhouettes to show that it's actually two lovers who want to get back together. Or you can go on and show a phone with a message "let's date again". It is original and more calling.

Author: Satan_s_Daughter

Blurb:

You made it clear that you are a novice and I won't be too hard on you. But your blurb is too short and not clear enough. You speak of Taeyong and jisoo trying to get back together but you forgot that we don't actually know those characters. Yes they are blankpink and bts, but it's not all readers who actually know who they are. It's better if you introduce them to us like: Taeyong,  a 27 year old accomplished man can't get over his beautiful ex Jisoon...........
And then you can give us a slight pick of what happened before they broke up. Did one of them cheat, lie, run away? Don't just speak of the overcoming the past arguments but give us and inside in why they actually fell apart, thus boosting our desire to be willing in seeing them getting back together.

General:

In the first chapter, you introduced us to sunghoohsunghooh who was asleep in class daydreaming about his crush. It is good for the story in my opinion to directly come to purpose of the story rather than turning round the cup and monologuing over undefined things. But my problem is that the chapter is too short. Yes, long chapters are boring for readers but too short chapters are not any better in my opinion. since your story is a five chapter one, making it consistent in the weight of its chapters.

Secondly, you are too familiar with the pronouns she/he. You put it too often, more often than the original names of your characters and in a chapter with more than three characters present, it will confuse the reader on who exactly is talking. Also, avoid using the word "as" to often. E.g: He said it as he put his book down while lifting his gaze to look as Tanya was walking down the stairs. Just say He spoke, putting his book on the table just to stare at Tanya who was walking down the stairs (Ps it's just an example I didn't really pick this from somewhere)

There is a lot of punctuation errors in the story or lack of it at all. Note that replacing a comma with a period is gonna change the meaning of your sentence and not given space after putting a comma makes the whole sentence misinterpretable. I also observed that you don't actually put (?) at the end of a question. Please take note on rechaking all of this when you'll edit your story together with some spelling errors. I am aware it's your first ever and very rough book, but readers now are days are out for quality. If you want to gain more readers, put some effort to give them quality work and your reads and likes will increase.

Aside from that, if you succeed in thoroughly editing it, Let's date again will be a cute second chance at love story.