Sanctuary Sought

Sanctuary Sought - Book 1 - Chapter 14

At some point, the lights went out, and the house fell into silence. I looked around, realizing that Ethan and Ryan had retreated to the guest room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, my body finally giving in to the need for rest. I woke up, checked the notifications, fell asleep, woke up, checked the notifications, fell asleep...

The morning came too soon, the light filtering through the curtains a reminder that a new day had begun. I woke up still on the couch, my body stiff and sore, my mind still trapped in the nightmare of the previous night.

Ryan was already up, the smell of coffee wafting through the air as he moved around the kitchen. He brought me a cup, his eyes filled with concern as he looked at me. "I think I'll work from here today," he said, his voice gentle. "Do the kids have anything scheduled?"

I looked at him, blinking hard, trying to remember. My mind felt sluggish, the details of the day a jumble of confusion. I pulled out my phone switching to the calendar. "Um, I'm not sure," I stammered, my voice sounding distant and grave even to my ears. "Leo and Aurora don't have anything scheduled, but there is an event at the local library. And there is a group of kids meeting at the park. I'll take them there."

Ryan's concern deepened, his brow furrowing as he studied me. "You sure? I can help."

I shrugged weekly. "I'll manage, but I won't stop you," I said, forcing a smile that didn't reach my eyes. I got up, my legs shaky, as I made my way to the bathroom to get ready.

The day was a blur of activity that seemed to pass in a haze. I took the kids to the library, their laughter and excitement a contrast to the turmoil in my mind. We went to the park, the sun shining, the birds singing, the world cruelly moving on as if nothing had changed.

I found myself constantly checking my phone, my fingers refreshing the notifications, my heart leaping with every buzz, only to sink again when there was still no connection.

Ethan came back from work at some point, and he helped with the kids, played with them, and laughed with them. Ryan was a constant support, helping with food and taking care of the little things that I couldn't seem to focus on.

The evening came, the shadows lengthening, the world settling into a quiet calm. I bathed the kids, their giggles and splashes a bittersweet reminder of the joy that used to fill our home. I helped them to bed, their sleepy eyes and soft smiles painful.

And then I was back on the couch, my phone in my hand, my eyes glued to the screen, my heart aching for a connection that seemed to elude me. The hours ticked by, the night deepening, the silence growing.

Still no connection.

In a moment of frustration, I slammed the phone down on the couch, the sound echoing through the room like a manifestation of my anger. My heart was pounding, my mind a whirlwind of fear and helplessness. I stormed into the kitchen, my movements jerky and uncontrolled.

I grabbed a cup, my hand trembling as I poured water from the fridge. I took a sip, the cool liquid doing nothing to quench the fire of rage inside me. My eyes fell on the liquor cabinet, and something within me snapped. I dumped the water, filled my cup with ice, and walked over to the cabinet, my movements deliberate, my mind focused on one thing and one thing only.

I chose a bottle of tequila, the clear liquid glinting in the dim light. I filled my cup to the brim, my hand steady now, my resolve firm. I raised the cup to my lips and drank it in one long draw, the burn of the alcohol a welcome distraction from the torment of my thoughts.

The floor creaked as I finished the last drops of alcohol, and I looked up to see Ethan walking into the kitchen. He froze, his face a mask of shock that quickly morphed into anger. He stormed up to me, his eyes blazing, his movements controlled and precise. Before I knew what was happening, he slapped me across the face, the sound sharp and loud in the silence of the room.