A Coffee Date (Conan Gray FF)

One Date

Just a little heads up, i was bored out of my mind and saw people on Conan Gray Twitter read random fanfics of him, so i decided to join in. And make my own.
I haven't written in a long time, so I'm still pretty rusty. Sorry for anything that isn't.. good. Have fun reading i guess<3

It's February.
I can't tell how long I've been loving this man, but it's been a while.
We're sitting in a little coffee shop near London, and I've been staring at him in awe for the past couple minutes.
Jamie is taking another sip of his cappuccino while looking out the window. He's just watching the cats drive by, which isn't unusual. We've been having a coffee date every Tuesday, and most of them we just talk about our day and read books together in a comfortable silence.
Jamie always sits on the cozy bench at the wall, his back rested against red pillows, and I sit on the other side of the table on a soft chair.
Sometimes we watch the people around us. One day we eavesdropped a couple argue two tables next to us, they were struggling to keep it quiet.
After they left, we talked about what we just heard. The guy told his girlfriend that he met up with his high-school sweetheart, and the girlfriend obviously didn't like it. He dropped the bomb that he still has feelings for her and didn't know what to do, and she got her bag and ran out. He didn't go after her for about twenty minutes. He sobbed softly, payed their orders and left.
Jamie took my hand and told me, that he could never do this to me, and I believed him.
He's my first true love, why shouldn't I believe him?
Now we're sitting here in this quiet place and I'm wondering, what I could say, to get Jamie's attention to me instead of the window view.
"Which book do you want to read after this one?", I asked, gesturing to the book on his side of the table. Moby Dick. Jamie told me he wanted to read some classics, this was his first after a long time of reading romance books only.
"Maybe I'll pick one of yours up, what do you think?" He smiles at me, his brown eyes lit up, he's talking with a soft voice.
I look at my side of the table, and there lies my book. The Prisoner of Azkaban, it's my sixth time of reading it.
"I think that's a good-", suddenly my heart stops.
I look down on the table. I accidently dropped my chai latte. How could this happen to me?
The coffee soaked my sweater. And after taking another look, my book is stained aswell. I can feel tears coming. The coffee mug slowly spins in little circles on the table.
"Oh my-. I'm so so sorry-", I start apologizing profusely. Jamie looks at the table, and I almost thought I saw anger in his eyes. Instead he looks me in the eyes again, and takes my hand, which held the mug before.
"It's okay, Conan. It is not your fault, the mug just dropped. Darling, everything is fine. Stuff like this happens to everyone. Calm down."
And I do. His smile calmed me down immediately, and I can feel my heartbeat going a normal pace again.
But it's already too late, the coffee puddle drips down the table like my tears stream down my cheeks.
Jamies smile makes me smile too, and I grab the mug and put it where it belongs.
"I'm sorry. You know how i react."
"Yeah don't worry about it, everything is okay. It's just a mug. It didn't break or anything, you only spilled some. Do you want to leave?", Jamie asks me, and I can see him getting slightly tense. I hope it's not because of me.

"No it's fine, i can handle this. Let's just get back to reading."

These kind of mistakes happen so much to me. I always start overreacting, I get scared of people getting mad at me. My therapist told me that it probably has to do with my past, and I guess she's right.
Jamie helps me a lot with it but I don't know how much longer he can put up with me. Let's just hope it's as long as possible, I don't know what I would do without him.