MSM After-Time [DISCONTINUED]

- CHAPTER 8: The Loop -

over and over.

the loop began.

i met someone, went rogue, damaged them, and got hated for it.

scrap, volcanite and kaja, molecule.

I wished I wasn't dead.

Being dead hurt me more than living.

Everyone started to hate me here.

..why?

i threw up more flowers, losing touch of reality. i asked, am I even real anymore?
eternity is the scariest thing ever known. you don't know what's going to happen, and you know things that do will eventually be forgotten by everyone. being dead forever and staying in a void like this was..
it hurt.
everything was the same.
this place lasted forever— just like time.
you can't stop time, and I knew that.

but suffering forever was the scariest part.

spending eternity like this would be the worst thing anyone could ask for.

..I laid in the grass, after throwing up god knows how many flowers.
But someone came up to me in that time, it was Xenov.

She..
She came to find me.

...she didn't hate me.

at least for a while.

-Hewoo!- Xenov greeted me as she walked up, she was smiling as always.
-Hi Xe- i couldn't continue since i coughed some flowers.
-These hurt real bad huh?- Xenov gently asked as she sat beside me.
I nodded and coughed again. Then i looked at her.
-How did you find me?- i asked as i slightly tilted my head.

-I followed the petals- Xenov answered and blinked at me.

-oh okay- i said as i looked at myself. I was an mess right now,dead flowers all over me,covered in oil.

-sorry for being such a mess right now...- i added as i curled up, hugging my legs.

-It's alright, señor! or senorita..- she said as she sat beside me and pat my back. I felt a little better as she did so.

She then gave me a hug... It felt nice, i needed one acctually.
I gently hugged her back,being careful to accidentally not crush her, since she is like... Absolutely tiny.

-Thanks..- i mumbled out as i hugged her back.
-no problem...- she said as she let go of me. Awww <:c.

SOME HOURS LATER

Me and Xenov were sitting on the grass, just talking about many stuff, I don't remember when i got back my ability to talk acctually! I felt... comfortable.
-Hey Xenov...- i said

-Anything wrong?- she asked me. I looked at her and asked.

-How are you not scared or uncomfortable when you see monsters and wubboxs taller than you? I mean... You're tiny. No offense.- i asked

She looked at me, blinked some times, smiled and said:

-I am scared around giants like you! But i can't be always scared since i can always be friends with tall ones! So i befriend them all!-

I looked at her,my eyes slightly widened as i was surprised.

-wow... that's brave of you!- i said as i smiled at her. Such a brave little thing.

...I became in a time of deep thought before then. I wondered about my reality that I was going to spend. and how it lasted forever.

I realized; where were the Angelics?
and why hadn't they came to my aid.

they watched from afar, I knew it.
but why didn't they help us?
or me?
i thought deep about it for a while.

i let out my thoughts to Xenov, curious on what she would have to say.

"Xenov, have you ever felt... like if the Angelics are a fraud?"

Strangely, this phrase felt familiar. Like I repeated history.. somehow.
But I forgot what it was.

"What do you mean?"

"..I mean. they haven't come to help us Xenov. I've been suffering for the past week. I've only been dead for so... short."

"I dunno what you mean by that but ok"

I didn't know what much else to say. I felt like someone. But who?

Though, as soon as I knew it, it would happen once again.

fuzzy brain, losing consciousness.

...

After a what it seemed to be a second i got my mind back.
I looked down...
No...
What have i done?!

I saw Xenov, except she was unconcious and broken...
It's my fault
I've hurt her
Just like i did hurt everyone...

MONSTER

END IT.

STOP IT

i could hear screaming. *Her* screaming. It rang through me... I just stood there, completely stunned... Why am i shocked? It's in my nature to hurt others, isn't it?!

ISN'T IT?!

-I'm so...so...so sorry- i whispered out as i looked at unconcious Xenov... She can't die twice, right? RIGHT?!

I ran away.

Like a coward you are

I ran far.

Like a monster you are

JUST
LEAVE
ME
ALONE

The voices. The voices everywhere... I can't run anymore.

After a while of running i stopped and fell onto my knees, infront of me, there was a small lake, full of crystal-clear what it seemed to be water...
I looked into the lake and saw... myself... Two different pupils...purple stripes under my eyes covered in oil.. a Flower growing over my eye... I look horrible.

i was stuck in a loop. someone was making this happen to me. but why..?
dying is hell.
i'd much rather be immortal than this.

______

WRITERS: Piskorz, Ori