show my bones | minsung

X. 139lbs

Cold.

That's all I ever felt.

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Jisung pov.

" okay just step on the scale for me please." The nurse said and I moved forward slightly shaking with nerves. I slowly stepped onto the scale shutting my eyes tightly, I was too scared to look, the numbers were scary, I didn't want to know if they went up. I heard a pen writing on a paper and she told me to go back to the room and wait for her. Sighing as I walked down the familiar halls of the hospital, finally getting in my assigned room, seeing my mom and dad bickering softly. " hey honey, what did she do?" She asked softly bringing her attention to me as I sat on the hospital bed. " uhm.. s-she just weighted me.." I said watching and scanning her face as she listened. " is it any better than last time?" My mouth went dry at her words, I could feel my father's stare, awaiting my response. " I'm sorry mom I couldn't bring myself to look." I said looking down at my selves playing with it from inside, my fingers curling the soft fabric, hearing a sigh from my mom I lifted my head to look at her. "Jisung we talked about this, there nothing wrong with you. It's all in your head honey." here we go again, she says this every time, she thinks I'm lying about everything. if only she knew.

My father finally spoke. " I told you Bethany, he's just doing this for attention." He rolled his eyes... I laughed in disbelief at his words, in which his head shot to look at me. " who do you think you're laughing at." He said in a stern tone his eyes brows creased. I rolled my eyes this time before speaking. " you really think I'm doing this all for attention.. why would I starve myself, cut myself, go to a mental hospital.!! just for attention huh!! Why the fuck would I do all this for attention..!!! I don't want attention from your ass, you're a dead beat father!! I hate you!!" I yelled my eyes filling with tears as I spoke, my voice cracking as my breathing got heavier. I felt a harsh sting on my cheek my face turning harshly to the side. " don't you ever talk to me like that again.!!" He yelled as I held my hand over my cheek.

Tears filled my eyes fast, I looked over to my mom, she just sat there not even looking guilty. Fuck I hate them. " you know what fuck yall.. you don't care about me.. if you cared you would act like a fucking parent!!." I yelled pushing my father out of the way running into the bathroom fastly shutting the door, pressing my back into it. Sighing deeply, sliding down the door as sobs finally escaped my mouth..

Why me

Why me

Why me

I'm so tired of fighting.

Please god take me home... take me home.. I can't do this anymore.

I brought my legs to my chest and buried my head into the soft fabric of my New Jersey sweat pants my tears wetting them.

as tears stream down my chubby cheeks I heard my mom and dad start auguring from behind the door.

I know it's about me again.

I don't want it to be me again.

I don't wanna be me at all.

I wanna be gone.

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A/n: hwllo every one!! This story is very dear to me because I struggle with an eating disorder and some of these scenarios are real things that have happened in my life.. I hope you enjoy !