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Title:
OUTBREAK / THE FIRST SURGE
Comment:
The book title is not the cliché type of we are used to on Wattpad and that is good. It makes the story look a little mysterious. The outbreak...outbreak of what? Zombie? A giant curse on the whole Earth? The apocalypse? Nevertheless, the additional part : The first surge in my opinion doesn't really have a need to be there. You can instead put it on the cover as a quote to boost the reader's interest.
The cover is quite simple, too simple even. I know it's supposed to be a dark and sad story, but I will prefer to go for a cover with maybe figuring or something that will reflect your story. Remember we are on Wattpad and here readers do judge books by its cover. You want to talk about virus? Show maybe a sign of a bottle with a liquor inside, or people running... Something in that nature. I'm not sure it helped :-)
Blurb:
It's very intriguing and brief. Just like your whole story, the blurb is written in the right style. It really boost the desire of the reader to immediately get into the story and know what it's clearly talking about. No comment on that.
General perspective:
The story plot is pertinent. The grammar, vocabulary and writing style is awesome. But note that the more the story is complex to read (having too many high grammar that will force a reader to go on google to search for its meaning PS: I used to do it when I started reading on wattpad :-|) users of Wattpad that are mostly only readers will easily give up on it, but we (readers and also writers) will be the ones willing to dive into the story and also learn from your style.
However, your story actually goes for the wattpad saying “show the actions, don't just tell it”. As I read, I could feel the cut on kiah at the first chapter and we can feel their pain. Nevertheless there was also some aspect of totology that I remarked in chapter 1 page 3 at the last paragraph. While reading it, author, I think you will see what I mean.
There is also though not many, some punctuation errors which is quite understandable since the story haven't yet been edited as you informed me.
Recommandation?
In summary, this story is really recommended for those who want to dive into another world filled with falling citizens and are obsessed into characters growing up after a fall.
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