Midnight Angel [Jenlisa FF]

~'~'~ Chapter 22 ~'~'~

If the situation weren't so serious, Jisoo would have laughed. Jennie was completely smitten with Lisa. She'd wondered about it before, but now she was positive. It was good for Jennie, Jisoo was sure. Lisa would treat her right. There were still a lot of things that needed to be worked out, but maybe something good could come out of all of this.

"I felt like a teenager drooling over a hot girl," Jennie said, slightly disgusted by the idea. "But it was so normal. I wanted her. And then...then I remembered."

"Remembered what?" Jisoo was pretty sure she knows, but she asked anyway.

"The rape. All the sudden it was right there in my mind, every single detail. And I freaked out." Jennie took a deep breath and thought about the night before. "Then it was like Lisa wasn't even there, and all I could think about was what Camaron had done to me."

"What did Lisa do?"

"Nothing." Jennie shook her head. "She didn't see me." She turned to Jisoo, a desolate, serious expression on her face. "What if I'm never able to be close to someone?"

"You will. Someday," Jisoo stated absolutely.

"But what it...what if that's what Lisa wants? Expects?"

"Then she's not the right girl. But I don't think Lisa is like that," Jisoo corrected. She thought for a moment, tried to figure out what she should say to her friend. If she had a psych degree this would be so much easier. "Lisa will understand, Jennie. she knows about everything you've been through."

"I just...I don't know if I'll ever be able to be with her. Or anyone," Jennie explained dejectedly. She felt broken. A normal woman would be able to be close to a guy without freaking out. She couldn't even look at Lisa in a bathing suit without wanting to run away.

Jisoo got up off the couch and sat down next to Jennie on the small foot stool. "You haven't known Lisa that long, Jennie. And just because you're attracted to her doesn't mean you have to have sex with her. There are other ways to be intimate that don't involve sex." She took Jennie's hand, hoping to comfort her friend. "I'm not a therapist or an expert or anything, but if you're really interested in Lisa then there are other ways you can be close to her. Hold her hand, watch a movie with your head on her shoulder, share a few kisses. Things like that. You have to let yourself get comfortable with her being close to you physically."

Considering the suggestions, Jennie leaned tiredly against Jisoo. Her friend made sense. Was she, Jennie, jumping to far ahead? She really hadn't known Lisa that long, and they had only kissed once, what seemed like eons ago. Could she let herself be close to Lisa in the way Jisoo was suggesting. Should she? It was all so confusing. And what if...

"But what if Lisa wants more?" she asked the question aloud.

"she'll understand, Jennie. Talk to her. Be honest with her. If she doesn't understand, then she's not the girl I think she is."

~'~'~

Lisa surveyed the rooms, taking in every detail. They were actually pretty nice, something a young adult would normally enjoy if they still lived at home. There was a lot of space and privacy. The bedroom area was large, divided up into sleeping quarters and a sort of living space. she could see a bathroom to one side of the room, and then to the left of that another door she wondered if led to a mini-kitchen. Probably did. Jennie had to have had some way to feed herself.

There wasn't a lot of furniture, but enough to be comfortable, and all of it nice quality. Yes, in any normal situation a person in their late teens would love the space. But for Jennie it hadn't been about privacy or growing up. It had been about seclusion, and a reminder of all that had gone wrong in her life. she could understand why she wouldn't want to come back here.